I went his grandmother's house, my aunty's place one night for a visit. There were a few people there as well, discussing amongst others, raya plans. He was moving about from room to room, catching a glimpse of everyone around and then stopped at me.
"Uncle Azmil, can you help me fix my Lego?"
"What are you building?"
"I'm building a spaceship but I got stuck. I cannot find the piece for the next step. Can you help me, please? Please?"
I'm not one to deny children's requests, especially if it's harmful ones like this. Plus there was a lot of time left before the dinner 'party' was over and I could sure use the opportunity to bond, knowing that I've hardly known him. Although it was somewhat a cautious walk up the stairs (I've never been above ground level in this aunty's house so every step is a mystery unraveled) we went up.
"Who else is upstairs?"
"My sister."
"What is she doing?"
"I don't know."
When we got upstairs, his sister wasn't there. She had already gone down (I knew of this as I saw her before I ascended) and the room was lighted with many bits and pieces of Lego on the floor. He brought me to a partly finished lego structure, a storm trooper looking space vehicle.
I browsed through Lego's pictorial guide on how to build the spaceship then realised that he skipped two steps by accident. Back tracked and rebuilt it from there on.
While I worked on his spaceship, he asked me,
"Uncle Azmil, how does it feel like when you die?"
"I don't know. I've not died before," I thought it was one of those questions children ask, without intention, without real interest. Just a question.
"When you know, can you tell me?"
"I'm not sure if I can. When I die, I won't be seeing you again. What makes you think about this?"
"I miss him. How is he? Is he in heaven?" Tears welling up in his eyes. He sniffles while his hands continue playing around with his pieces of lego.
I continue putting together his spaceship. "I think he is."
"I think he is too. How is it like in heaven? Only good people go to heaven, right?"
"Yes, only good people go to heaven."
"I miss him.."
He is missing his great grandfather, my grand uncle, who has just passed-on a few months ago. It would be 1 year by the end of this year and his presence must have meant something for a little soul like this to be teary-eyed. I just felt broken-hearted not being able to say something better to him, not being able to comfort his fragile soul. All I could say was,
"Don't think too much about it. You've got a lot of growing up to do, a lot of happy moments to think of. It's just too soon for you to think of death."
We finished the spaceship and he could muster a smile of satisfaction looking at it. It could probably have distracted his attention and though he wanted me to stay up there longer, I couldn't. It was a deal, I told him, that I'd fix his spaceship and then I'll go down.
We went down together and watched tv. It was the Manchester Derby that night.
As my family and I were about to leave, I reminded him,
"Don't think too much about it ya? Be happy as a child."
For a moment, he seemed confused. Then,
"Oh, ya, about that ya? Ok, I won't."
Almost as if we promised, we vowed to keep it to ourselves.
You say you wander your own land But when I think about it I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking And I can see the pain in your eyes Since everybody's changing And I don't know why.
So little time Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing And I don't feel the same.
You're gone from here Soon you will disappear Fading into beautiful light 'cause everybody's changing And I don't feel right.
So little time Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing And I don't feel the same.
So little time Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game I try to stay awake and remember my name But everybody's changing And I don't feel the same.
Ooo... Everybody's changing And I don't feel the same.
Patblas hari lepas aku update blog. Hari ni nak update lagi.
Takde cerita menarik semenjak dua ni. Bulan puasa, kepala pun puasa idea. Bukan salah bulan, salah orang. Saja tak nak pikir jauh-jauh, tak nak menung, tak nak buat apa-apa yang patut.
Minggu lepas aku kerja, heheh. Minggu ni aku.. err.. malas.
Sekarang bos dah boleh usha aku dari opis dia setengah dunia jauhnya daripada sini. Exaggeration. Suku je. Pun exaggerate. 2.5 jam dari sini kalau ikut garisan median greenwich. Dah terpasang kamera intai yang beroperasi sepanjang mana internet beroperasi dan selagi server terpasang. Aku tak nak dia tengok, aku matikan ajela modem. Tapi nanti takleh masuk internet pulak. Ah! Cabutkan aje kabel dua puntung tu. Solosai. Tapi buat masa ni, aku tak buat lagi sebab heran apa dia intai aku ke, tak ke.
Aku rasa jugak macam termakan ayat sendiri. Bukan termakan sangat tapi tersedar dengan ayat-ayat yang aku sebut sendiri. Terima kasih kat kawan-kawan yang mengingatkan.
Atas kemalasan yang teragak-agak, aku poskan sebahagian isi emel dan link kat bawah ni:
(begin quote) I read a few articles (linked below) due to this discussion and further found it in a few other sites with regards to Malaikat Jibril's do'a. I have not gone as far as certified websites that discusses on Islam but I find it sufficient to quote the following link for us:
Aku tersentap dengan ayat ini (extracted from the hadith, do not quote this on its own): "Celakalah orang yang mendapati ibubapanya yang sudah tua atau salah seorang daripadanya, namun mereka tidak memasukkan dia ke dalam surga."
Maka terkejutlah aku.
Patblas hari lepas aku update blog ni, hari ni ada isi baru :)
Words don't make much sense to me now. I've read less, understood less and comprehend less.
I need mental stimulation. Recommend a book, please.
Or get me where I am sufficiently abused so I may pick up and charge again.
I first listened to this song while in secondary school. The song played and played again as years passed by and only in 93 did I start listening to the lyrics and tried to make logic of what they had to say.
I've been confused with these two words now and again and tonight decided to surf it out. Found this:
A While vs Awhile
One of our readers, Robert, wrote to ask Daily Writing Tips:
Here’s a couple of words I use all the time interchangeably. But are they? a while vs. awhile Help me out, o oracle!
No problem, Robert! This one’s pretty easy to grasp:
A while is a noun meaning “a length of time”
“I slept for a while.” - (compare with “I slept for a bit” and “I slept for three hours”)
“I was away from my desk for a while.” - (compare with “I was away from my desk for two minutes”)
Awhile is an adverb, meaning “for a time,” or literally, “for a while”.
“I slept awhile before dinner.” (compare with “I slept deeply before dinner” and “I slept badly before dinner”.)
As you can see, the words can be used almost interchangeably in some cases – but a while needs to be accompanied by a preposition, such as “for” (“I slept for a while”) or “ago” (“I left work a while ago”). Awhile always means “for a while”.
On the drive home, just 8 minutes away from destination, He revealed to me that life is about the destination. It's about moving to a destination hereafter. In similar form of the unexplained future, He made me see that death is part of this unexpected future. No certainty comes from living, neither would there be from dying. No one is surely living tomorrow, neither shall we be able to say how we would live, hereafter.
It is how best we prepare ourselves now, to assist in destination hereafter.
For those who have been following my writings for the past few months would notice that I've written quite a lot on the fear of dying, the fear of being alone, the fear of the unexpected. Those are genuine, I tell you and I cannot begin to describe how I felt when I felt them. I have always been fearful of lonliness as, the Malay saying goes, "Kubur asing-asing," which means to each their own graves.
And in my travel today, it finally clicked: my future with destination Jeddah is as uncertain as after-death itself and the only way I can make the best out of it is to make the best with my preparation.
It helps me reminisce past moments, even if they weren't really happy ones but with the length of my attention and memory span, I'd almost forgotten why they weren't happy and focus on the smiles when photos were taken then instead.
Yes it is.. and when you find me blogging on a Friday you be well informed that it's quite a slow day to begin with (note: pile of paper got a little higher since my last entry below) and that the inbox isn't as populated as it was 2-3 weeks ago.
Be as it may, Friday to me is kinda like Tuesday or Wednesday although not really like Monday as tomorrow is another working day. Over the almost 10 years working, the only break I got from Saturday was for about 1.5 years where we worked 5 day weeks and Saturdays were days of leisure as were Sundays. I noticed though that in those days, I spent more money as I had more time to spend them in comparison to these days.
Reminder to self: always pay off what you owe before making the first expenditure on yourself.
Guests from the Arabian Peninsular are slowly leaving and remaining now are 3 groups scheduled to arrive in the early days of August. Properties in Langkawi and Penang are fully occupied with late arrivals and it's almost impossible to squeeze any additional rooms out of them.
Feel like doing some photo uploads..
Taken last year when the season was about its peak. I can't recall the reason behind the photo though. This is Lawand Tourism & Travel Sdn. Bhd.
Taken with Lawand Tourism team members. There are a few others but they were not involved in the FAM Trip.
I think I can.. I think I can..
Oh! MUMMYY!! hahaha.. Notice that the boat isn't really that far off the island. Such drama. But I belched my tummy's contents right after snorkeling.
Came to office a little off of time today and received a text message from boss (the one who's on holiday in Malaysia) for something-something. Performed that task and went through some blogs.
Checked my weight on the know-it-all scale at home. I'm 24kg fat, 50+kg muscle and what nots else. My weight is on a yo-yo. After meals it'd be about 84, without meals 80-81. I don't know that weights can go up and down just like that. And with that much margin. My metabolic rate is still 2 which is no different although I force myself to move more. My guess is, this is the indicator that actually tells how healthy a person is. This would also answer statements like, ".. but he was so healthy, participating in sports," and what nots. My body is 41 years old according to the scale.
Yes, the scale's accurate to say the least. I do feel THAT old. Now that I think of it, 41 is not really that far away since I've just turned 33. 7 years ago, 41 is like NOOO!!! hahaha.. My sister's body age is 15. Heh.
Munching chicken sandwich while waiting for that single message from boss asking to meet him gives me the chance to blog. Add the factor of no emails the night before for me to action, it's rather relaxing. Not too relaxing since there's a pile of papers on my left waiting for their time of day. I can't work with interruption because it would upset my mental cabinet and I wait for the moment of expected peace.
Which shouldn't be too far away considering that the season is almost over and bookings are not as forthcoming as we would like to expect. We're quite badly hit. Although Malaysia shows growth, Australia is experiencing a 75% drop from last year's revenue. Which brings me to a question boss asked me last night,
"How would you take to the idea of doing a different job, - with Lawand of course! - in a different country,"
then followed with more under the surface descriptions and ideas.
Jeddah. Sales. Promoting Malaysia by a Malaysian. By far Saudi is the hottest market for tourism in the Middle East. We have an office in Riyadh but not in Jeddah. The idea is still ding-donging - pinball style - in my head. I'd love to. It's a great opportunity to venture into sales as I believe I have the knack for it although I've never done sales for a living before.
But I'm a jack of all trades, am I not? Ho, read it properly, JACK. Of all trades. You funny people better not start reading it as JACK OF. All trades.. :P Kalau tak paham tak apalah.
And Jeddah? Been there for two months and the best I can say about that place is that it's very quiet regardless of the time of the day. It's HOT with hardly any life to live. Forget about hoo-haa-ing. On the other side, it's limitations might be good for me to return to my roots and restart my living. If you've read a few postings prior to this you'd realise that I've been feeling dead for quite a while now although breathing and still living.
Mayat hidup. The western term would be zombie but zombie is as good to describe 'mayat hidup' as envy would be to describe 'dengki'.
I don't know if I can make it through. Wait. I know I'll make it through when I have to. I'm not the quitter.
Although the 'making it through' might also include lots of mental suffering and physical abuse as well.
I know it's a day when I should be merry acknowledging how age has turned and what achievements I have made the past 365.25 days. The few weeks running up to my 33rd year of existence has been hectic but despite those time occupying hours, I still managed moments when I reflected not on the year that had passed but the years ahead.
And posted, "I am 33 today and I feel like I have at most 50% of life remaining."
I've been getting small signs of mortality every now and then when my chest hurts, and I get the feeling of clotting veins, experience occasional short of breaths, light headedness and not to mention the now infamous occasional severe back aches. They don't happen often but they happen often enough that wakes me up every time they do.
Then I think of death and how much it'd hurt in the interim to the hereafter. How much I'd miss the people I'll leave behind. Truth is, once I die, I'd be suffering so much that I don't think I'll even have time to think of the life I've left behind.
Then I think of the rewards of people who receives Allah's Favours and the followers of Muhammad, peace be upon him. I think of the promise of partners in heaven, the promise of such beautiful life that you'll never have to wonder again. The promise of eternity.
I am afraid. I feel fear as I write this down. I am not ready to leave now but I am not preparing myself enough either.
Air tenang jangan sangka tiada buaya.. Buaya tenang jangan sangka tak cari mangsa.. Mangsa hilang belum tentu salahnya buaya.. Buaya hilang mati kerana buatan manusia..
As disembarked, we took some pictures indicating arrival at a foreign airport and proceeded towards the baggage carousel. Yes, first time to Sabah, a little jakun when I had to produce my MyKad for verification. The immigration officer gave me a receipt to be retained and returned upon departure. Collected the bags from the carousel and while waiting we took turns taking photographs with Maya Karin. She's such a sport and didn't mind us. After all bags were claimed, we headed for the exit where the guys who boarded AirAsia were waiting together with the transport that were to take us to Hyatt KK. For some reason, Maya Karin remained at the baggage collection area, as if frozen. Bye Maya.. Hope Celcom treats you well.
The relatively short trip to Hyatt KK wasn't eventful but everyone was excited. Capoi had to repeat a number of reminders including how to pack our back pack and Mantat briefed everyone on the usage of PowerBar 1, 2, 3. We arrived after about 20 minutes of travel, got out of the van and into the lobby of Hyatt. Itik called Izzat/Own to get their room number and up we went to the bachelors' pad..
We stayed there for a bit when a few took turns answering some calls then headed down to the mall next door for last minute purchases. I bought my balaclava and toothbrush-paste set. We departed KK for Rose Cabin at approximately 3pm after having lunch at a shop in the mall. It was a 2 hour drive which felt like much much longer. We took some snaps along the way of the scenery and of course, Kinabalu. Arrived Rose Cabin at 5-ish and registered our names on a piece of paper for certificate preparations. The rooms were triple sharing and the beds sufficient. Snap-snap lagi then after maghrib went down for dinner. The dinner spread was fabulous! Banyak sangat-sangat but somehow I wasn't in the mood of eating so had what's sufficient. The cabins here somehow does not have sufficient sockets so it's either the TV or the phone charger.
Macam biasa, dah lama tak jumpa, malam tu hingaq tak ingat, buat tempat tu macam tempat sendiri. Many of us also decided to pack the bags before going to bed, just in case there wasn't enough time the next day. At about 10, everyone was already quiet. Well, as quiet as it could be, if you don't consider the snores. I have slight difficulty adjusting to the new place and was tossing and turning around for quite a bit.
The next morning was rather quiet. It was a nervous moment, going up a mountain. We could see from Rose Cabin the landmarks on the mountain. Laban Rata seemed WAAAAAAAY up there and the two RTM stations looked so far away.
"Boleh ke ni?"
"Boleh.. kawan-kawan ada, don't worry."
We showered with hot water (a necessity, unless if you're thick skinned and have no problem with VERY cold showers) that was heated by live fire. And I do mean live fire. The device would ignite and flames would heat the cooper pipes which would cause the water to kinda boil and viola! Hot water! Yes, another jakun moment.
Took pictures outside Rose Cabin then set off for Kinabalu Park.
As you can see, I'm not that enthusiastic a blogger as many others are. I've started many writings with intentions of producing second third and fourth series/episodes which die off at just one or two or sometimes couldn't even complete one.
I blame it on timing and surrounding. Yeah, it's easier that way, blaming others instead of myself. There's always comfort knowing that you're not guilty of anything apart from the finger-pointing. Afterall, finger-pointing is an exercise in its own right. Who says that you can lift a finger without moving a muscle? Since it's muscle movement, it is exercise, no?
OK, I digress. Without even telling half the truth, I've been busy or rather keeping myself busy with (sometimes) things that matter and (some other times) things that don't matter at all. It's not easy you know, looking busy. It's an art in its own way and only professionals are able to portray it best whereas amateurs will always seem like they are pretending. Those amateurs really bring shame to the pros and give the art a very very bad name. SHAME on you for being such a poser.
At times when I am being myself, I do things that come naturally to me. And that's to sleep. I sleep like its second nature to me. First nature would be to stay up at night. I'm a nocturnal being. I would've played the part of Batman had I known that they were casting. Or had I been a body builder. Or had my name been Christian Bale. Yeah. But it's not and I was not so now I can't even play the role of Robin and since Joker's dead, there goes my final act.
There's a light, I know At the end of the tunnel And far it is not Just the length of the funnel Brace yourself You should be strong Because if everything else does YOU should not be go wrong
Gather the pieces Of what once was whole Step out of the darkness Get back to your role Your life is not done And it is yet to end You have much to achieve And good time to amend
Good things don't always happen When you most want it to But when you least expect wonders It will then come to you Keep your chin up You're much better that way Indulge in good thoughts And the occasional souffle
Just like a great climb Up a huge towering mountain Forward move! FORWARD! Never shall you turn Regret you should not Whether painful or pleasant Value the experience Because you made it happen.
I have at least 5 blog drafts that I've not revisited to complete. This blog, I am determined to complete all three installations of them.
Time passed by as quickly as it could and before long, it was (T-1) to departure day. I've advised my boss quite well ahead of time of my endeavour so he's ready when I told him that I'll be leaving the office for 4 days. Our office ni kecik la sangat. Manpower is so very limited and although we are a dependable duo, having two heads doing work is better than just one. With one head away in the clouds (literally!), the one that remains will have to handle the load. We weren't sure of the telephone reception where we're headed (I might not be able to follow you..) and kept our fingers crossed. It didn't help either that there was a huge blunder the day before departure due to a misquote of a client's air ticket, a mistake I realised after payment has been deposited. Better too late than sorry, I had to make clarification as well as rectification on the situation. The night before departure was spent packing up on items that I think I should bring including post-climb items such as extra t-shirts and pants, socks, ding dongs, yeah, the works. I was made to sleep (by mummy.. haha..) early although they were happily watching tv in the room. Have to, since flight departs at 0730 which means that we'd have to be at the airport by 0600. I just couldn't sleep. I was tossing around and even before my alarm was triggered at 0400, I was already awake. Got up, showered and packed my toiletteries (which was just the Eumora bar), got dressed and went down. Texted Jabir to inform him that I was ready and waited at the front door. It's a weird thing, travelling alone, even at my age. It's not like I've never been to airports on my own- heck, I worked at 3 different international airports! - but travelling is another thing. I remembered to salam with my parents the night before so I left in the morning with an open heart, at peace should anything happen. Jabir arrived about 0505 and we headed straight for KL-CAT. Upon arrival, waited for Ayun to arrive before we bought train tickets. We wanted to check-in at KL-CAT but we had less than 2 hours before departure and had luggage to check-in as well so decided to do it at KLIA. Paid the ticket, took the train and off we went to KLIA. On the train, Ayun managed to check with the other guys on their whereabouts. 2 of us flew AirAsia that morning and another 2 were flying MAS on the same flight but travelling seperately. Arrived at KLIA, checked-in and went for an early bf at KFC. Nothing to shout about la their breakfast meals. Met Itik and Idi after breakfast and after a short ciggie break, went in. On that flight were Itik, Idi, Ayun, Jabir and I. Already in KK and spending the night at Hyatt were Izzat and Own. Also in KK but not in Hyatt was Pelat. On AA were Capoi, Mantat and Farouk.
We boarded the flight in good time. Had a short stroll pass the policeman and the scanners without much problem. I've always made a practice of emptying my pockets whenever I arrive at those scanners ever since I worked at the airport. It's better to get it right the first time than to have to queue again, something I learnt in Dubai. Dubai police aren't as forgiving as Malaysian ones although they do lighten up once they knew I was Malaysian.
Racist. Haha..
We're kinda the later few to arrive at the boarding gate since the hall and the aerobridge was already empty by the time we got there. Put both phones out of reception, scanned my boarding pass and boarded the plane. The flight to KK wasn't that full but there weren't that many seats free to move around. The three of us, Jabir, Ayun and I sat together while Idi sat with Itik, by the emergency exit. To Itik's disappointment, he couldn't recline his seat. Apa la, kerusi rosak pulak he thought, to only realise that it's a sort of safety mechanism they have at emergency exits. Ye la, kalau orang kat emergency exit dok seronok tido sampai tak sedar apa-apa, sapa la pulak nak bukak pintu tu kalau ada emergency?
The cabin crew served us our meals about 45 minutes into the flight and throughout the meal, we had lots of references towards Mantat. Ayun gave his piece of something, Jabir a little something else and I snapped pictures of the bountiful goods that was complimentary on MAS. Since we were travelling well above cloud level, there's not much to be seen apart from fluffy clouds and the horizon.
The flight started on its descent 30minutes before due time and that was when I saw land once more, in the shape of capes and shores and deltas brown with mud. Took snaps here and there with the phone (I chose not to bring the camera, one less gadget to take care of). After a short while, I started to make out the shape of Kinabalu on the horizon and at that instant, my focus changed from the ground to the mountain. It was magnificient with clouds looming above it and greenery covering its feet.
In my awe looking at Kinabalu, I didn't realise that we were fast approaching the tarmac and all of a sudden (and yes, it was quite a jerk, that landing), we were on the ground, braking on the runway, zooming past AirAsia's terminal towards the main terminal building.
It was a surprise that I took up the challenge of climbing Mount Kinabalu. I have never been a climber and never scaled any hills unless assisted by a motorised vehicle thus the declaration I made one fine February night to my parents surprised them no less.
I have always been a creature of the sea. I swim, I go kayaking, I snorkel. Well, I puked as well, while snorkelling but that's a different story to tell. I enjoy being in the water more than being in the mountains and after I left RMC, I didn't return to the jungle even once. I had no experience climbing mountains but hikes, I did. I thought, it's Kinabalu and it's guided. It's doable.
There goes the first lesson in embarking on a new adventure: NEVER underestimate.
I was on a budget, still am therefore Kinabalu at first, wasn't an option. The guys were actively talking about the climb some days after The Royal 10th Thoroughbred's 20-years anniversary and being in the forum, I read and took mental notes. As I am in the travel industry, I one day decided to open my fat mouth and offered to get them bookings for the flight to Kota Kinabalu. As fate has said it, my offer for ticket booking was mistaken as an indication to climb and I decided then that I should.
From that moment on begins my journey towards scaling Mount Kinabalu, located in a state I've never been to, at a height I've never been at and walking a distance I've not walked for a good 16 years.
First on my list of to-buy items were airline tickets, without which all preparations would have resulted in a nought and with which there should be no excuses not to go. Ada la juga dilly dally but the shock came from Ayun who informed that the airfare has been steadily increasing and what used to be RM200+- for a return fare is now RM400+-. I checked for the price online and made the purchase there and then. RM466 for a return flight is quite alright. I bought AirAsia tickets for Farouk and Razman at RM172 return. Banyak beza but we get service and what nots too. Whatever it is, forward we move!
Next on the list of to-buys were a pair of shoes. I have shoes for every sports and occasion that I involve myself in but yes, climbing wasn't one of those occasions. So off I went to scout for shoes with the help of Zahirah and her contact. Zahirah worked at RSH for a period of time so I reckon I could get some good stuff off RSH for a good price and I was not disappointed. Bought me a Merrel (original price RM329) for RM197.40. OK, most important items purchased.
Played sports, did rope exercises at home early mornings (until we started moving things from the ground floor into my room and the room becomes a store once more) and had intentions of going to the gym which remained intentions.
Then Razman proposed the idea of having an event t-shirt. Razman has been known as the t-shirt guy of some sort, being center in many of our t-shirt making history since college and we took up the idea almost immediately! Seeing how time was then short, we left the designing, material and miscellaneous stuff for him to settle. It turned out wonderful, our t-shirt was bright orange and very distinct. Someone even remarked that we looked like hashers :P
Further to the list of items to bring/buy/borrow were knapsacks, socks, t-shirts, towel, water bottle, gloves, snow cap/balaclava, head lamps, rain coat, track bottoms and what nots. I brought my knapsack, socks, t-shirts, towel, my beloved and dedicated water bottle (bought 2 years ago and has since been providing good service), as well as track bottoms and an extra pair of shoes. The shoes were my mother's idea, she being wary shud the Merrel crack open. I borrowed my brother's virgin go-kart gloves and bought a balaclava (checkout my profile picture on fb with the balaclava on!), head lamp and rain coat.
We were told to pack light and as light as I could I packed. It was light enough I bet since it didn't incur any excess baggage for my checked-in baggage which I originally wanted to pull along.
Hahaha.. dah kena tegur dah, blog tak berjaga, terbiar dan bersemak samun serta habuk. Ada je niat dan gerak hati yang kata nak kena updatekan tapi niat tu tinggal niat je la. Until today. It's not really a fruitful day that calls for a celebration but it was a day that was and made me want to write.
I've been wanting to write about music, its lyrics and what music filtration/censorship is to me. I had a feedback/comment recently about the songs that I liked listening to because it is said to be so unmanly. Oh, that posting is here.
Yeah, Shontelle? It's funny, I know, that a guy listens to a get-well-picker-upper-chick-song as compared to the more manly type songs but hey, I now look forward to the time the radio DJs play Taylor Swift's Love Story. Yes, it drives my head up high in stories of fairy tale endings, imagining how things would turn out for 'Romeo' and 'Juliet' and sing in my croaky voice, drumming on air/lap/steering wheel and smiling.
I'd rather do silly than do dangerous.
Dangerous would be this. It seems very fluid and mostly righteous with lots of useful messages singing out loud preaching for peace and harmony and to end rampant killings. It's all good. Except that they chose to have the line, which is just not right. I was watching TV some years back and on it was one of those AF concerts. As they sang this song, they put their hands together and palms facing up "Father, father, father help us, send some guidance from above," That too, choreographed by a Muslim instructor.
Artistic expression does not precede religion, in whatever sense.
So yes, while I may not love all sappy love songs, I'd rather listen to them than to songs that contains elements of khurafat, idol worshipping and what nots else. And I recommend that you listen to the lyrics carefully each time you hear a song played.
marilah wahai siberduka-siberduka sekelian, mari raikan kedukaan itu dengan zikir, mari raikan kedukaan itu dengan ucap syukur, raikanlah kedukaan kalian dengan mengingat hari dimana duka itu tiada, hari hilangnya segala perasaan, hari yang hanya engkau kenali adalah dirimu jua, bukan siapa di kiri atau kananmu.
Sesungguhnya kerana duka itu juga, pinjaman semata-mata.
Aku tak rasa aku cukup hebat untuk sama-sama berkongsi suka dengan kawan-kawan. Cukuplah sekadar aku memerhati dari jauh, dari dekat mahupun dari takde mana-mana pun.
Aku rasa mungkin aku akan mudah kecewa kalau aku dikalangan orang-orang yang gembira dan berjaya. Aku belum lagi berjaya. Aku tak mampu untuk bergelumang dengan siberjaya-siberjaya sekelian tanpa mungkin aku tidak merasa cemburu, sedikit mahupun banyak.
It has been quite a busy weekend, weekday and many weeks for me and now, I can write again.
Life's been offering me a lot of distractions from the tiny unimportant things, allowing me to focus on what's to be done here and now. It's a fun road to traverse and I'm glad I'm here.
There are still papers on the table to be filed, those in the tray to be sorted and files to be relocated back to the filing cabinet. There's still work to be done, errors to be corrected and clients to be served. There will - until forever - be things that we can do no matter how 'thingless to do' we feel we are, for life should not end when a task is completed. It's a good thing, this thing called 'job'. It gives us a sense of what-to-do-next as compared to sitting around in the house wondering..
I however would love to one day adapt the life living in the mountains or by the sea, able to spend time with the family doing what matters most instead of hurrying in and out of the office thinking about the next client to arrive, the next payment to make and probably the next job to jump to.
I would've been a very rich man if money matters less and life more.
I'd love to work my hands on wooden planks or tree stumps or doing plumbing or even harvesting fruits, planting chillies, growing trees, flowers, feeding chicken, fishing. If money matters less and life more, I would've travelled the world with a small wagon and a trusty partner exploring the mountains, experiencing the heat. I would go hiking (now then, those Merrel shoes would do me good :)), mountain climbing, swimming and even pearl diving. I will have amassed millions and millions of stories along the way experiencing natives' lives, avoiding hungry polars or honey bears, surviving off the wild plants.
I would've been a multi millionaire of experience, if money matters less and life more.
On the other hand who's stopping me from doing all that, now?
Still, I am thankful for being alive. I have the opportunity to love and be loved, to care and be cared for, to talk, write, eat, drink, smile and to complain about the heat, although it really isn't a complain.
Dengan namaMu yang Maha Agung, aku doakan agar dibuka hati sipemarah yang tegar itu untuk bertaubat kepadaMu daripada segala kesalahan yang lalu. Engkau bukakan jualah hatinya untuk beristighfar atas segala kesilapannya kepadaMu. Aku mohon agar Engkau perdalamkanlah ilmunya dan permudahkanlah pencariannya ke arah mendapat keredhaanMu.
Ya Allah, Engkau tutupkanlah perasaan riak, takbur dan egonya terhadap sesama manusia. Engkau zuhudkanlah hatinya untuk hanya Kamu. Engkau jadikanlah dia hambaMu yang taat dan patuh akan perintahMu. Sesungguhnya kesalahannya terhadapMu hanya Engkau yang mampu memaafkan.
Aku juga memohon kepadaMu ya Allah, Engkau pertemukanlah kembali hamba-hambaMu yang pernah suatu masa dahulu dizalimi dalam apa cara sekalipun oleh sipemarah ini, agar segala kesalahan sesama mereka dapat dimaafkan dan sipemarah tidak lagi disoal di akhirat kelak akan kesalahannya sesama manusia.
Sesungguhnya Engkaulah yang Maha Memperkenankan Segala Sesuatu.
KepadaMu jualah Aku memohon, kepadaMu jua aku meminta dan hanya kepadaMu aku kembali. Engkau permudahkanlah urusan hamba-hambaMu dalam mendekatiMu. Tingkatkanlah keimanan kami terhadapMu, bantulah kami dalam mencari keredhaanMu, kurniakanlah kepada kami kebijaksanaan dalam menyampaikan ilmu-ilmu yang telah Engkau berikan kepada kami.
Rabbana aatina fid-unya hasanah wa fil-aakhirati hasanah wa qina 'adzaab-an-nar. "O Lord ! Give unto us in the world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good and guard us from that doom of the Fire " http://www.ummah.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-136965.html
Manusia di dunia ni, yang significantnya, ada dua golongan. Ada golongan atasan, ada golongan bawahan. Yang atasan ni, dihormati, disanjung dan betapa ridiculous dan thick dan arrogant sekalipun, dimaafi. Golongan yang bawahan pula dipandang biasa, boleh bawak bercerita tapi jangan tersalah langkah! Silap langkah, dihambat, dimaki.
Aku tak paham kenapa. Kenapa perlu ada persepsi dan layanan yang pelik. Apa lebihnya yang atas melainkan wang, harta dan kekayaan? Apa kurangnya yang bawah selain darjat? Apakah perlu yang di atas di maafkan kesilapan atas konsep 'masih jahil' sedangkan yang di bawah tidak punya hak untuk dibetulkan kejahilan mereka?
Sesungguhnya yang membuatkan aku lebih kurang memahami adalah ketebalan ilmu itu sendiri di dada yang menjatuhkan hukuman, tebalkah ilmunya? Tinggikah budi pekertinya? Murnikah dirinya? Apakah tidak perlu lagi pembetulan sehinggakan sipesalah-pesalah lain layak dimarahinya sebagaimana rupa sekalipun?
Aku tertanya: Manakah perginya teguran? Manakah perginya kesabaran? Manakah hilangnya kebijaksanaan? Mantra-mantra yang sering diulang tatkala kemarahan meruwap di dalam hati yang lain, diucapkan oleh penjatuh hukuman.
Sia-sia aku rasa pengalaman aku melalui kursus 'internal customer service', 'negotiation skills' dan apa entah lagi kursus anjuran pejabat lama seandainya aku juga turut tergolong dalam lipatan yang sama.
Aku benci melihat keadaan begini berulang-ulang. Aku benci dilibatkan. Aku benci untuk mengakui. Akan tetapi dalam kebencian itu, bukanlah hak aku untuk menyatakan pendirian aku malah lebih jauh lagi untuk aku memperbetulkan. Aku hingusan. "BODOH! Kau dulu aku ajar, masakan kau boleh ajar aku sekarang?!" Tak pernah diungkap namun sebegitu terasa.
Mengapa pula ada kesabaran, hemah dan keinginan memperbetulkan sikaya yang bongkak, ignoran lagi memperlekehkan yang kau kata kau tegakkan? Mengapa kesabaran, kebijaksanaan dan hemah yang kau peragakan dikhayalak sikaya itu tidak kau amalkan tatkala kau bersama yang lain, lapisan bawahan?
Kurangkah nilai mereka? Tidak layakkah mereka untuk kesabaran kau? Lemahkah mereka untuk menerima ilmu-ilmu kau yang mungkin berlautan dalam dan bergunung tinggi?
Nothing new nor exciting to share for the past few days. I've been busy as usual with stuff I'm sure you'd rather not read lest risk injuring yourself banging your head on the table.
Let's find some beautiful place to get lost, Where we can just live life free without cost, And roam the land all day Wake and sleep and feel gay Just time spent together with those we love most.
Let's find some beautiful place to be hidden, Far from the city, in the mountains, We fish and we hunt Like living on the run And at night purr like two loving kittens.
Let's find this place for you and I, To sit and to talk, to let time while by, Where I'd joke and you'd laugh, And we'd talk about stuff, A place we could be higher than high.
Let's make life happen for a reason For one, two, and many a season..
Streamyx is as good as dead Even a dead log is better than it Streamyx is useless, someone said It belongs down there in the bottomless pit
Streamyx is as lame as a knock-knock joke Or as potent as KFC's hot and spicy If Streamyx were person, he/she I'll choke Strong, firm but tender as it wriggles free
Wasted time is nothing without Streamyx Like calling a stream with no water in it But if you've got time to have a kick Dial-up streamyx's sure to cook you up a fit
We pay good money for a lousy setup The help-line that'll always tell you of some service disruption Most of the time down, very seldom being up Like most news on papers across the nation
The hype from my batchmates of facing the Mount Kinabalu challenge is just too strong and I've succumbed to tempation. "If not now, when else?" I thought.
So yes, I'll be facing Mount Kinabalu and its elements in May. Me and at least 9 others. This challenge was first mooted by a batch mate somewhere in December as one of the 20-years-knowing-you activity which kicked off in January with a tahlil at the OPA Building. I got onto the bandwagon by chance when my offer to procure tickets for the group was mistaken as an indication of participation.
We've had a meet, paid our deposits and a few of us made our ticket purchases (some paid almost RM450 on MH, some paid RM175 on AA). There's also talk by the golf kakis to play a round of golf prior to departing to the resthouse at the foot of the mountain the night before the climb. Not being a golf kaki, I'm not sure what I'll do while waiting.
Seronok wo.. And to gently increase my stamina, I've been doing bedroom exercises (not the kind you might think of :P) for the past month or so and have so far gone up from 100 skips per morning to 150 skips. I'm working towards a set of 200 x 5 skips per morning at my peak. It's really nothing much but for someone who hates running and doesn't have an olympic sized swimming pool in his backyard, skipping is the other best alternative.
Yes people, I'm THAT psyched to face the mountain tapi bila fikirkan, darah ni jadi berderau, the same feeling I get when I was in my teens and awaiting punishment from my father for doing wrong.
Still, kalau Malaysia Boleh!, saya juga pasti boleh, bukan?
but somehow my blogger posted some other stuff that I wrote earlier. Didn't have time to check through it until now. Even now pun don't have time but squeeze some through until it's oozing out through the pores on my skin.
Whatlah.
It's been busy, quite very the busy for us at the office. It did not help that instead of 3 we have only 2 reliable workforce to the extent that we thought, it's better off without. Don't know how it'll go, will be consulting MD tonight.
Having the MD under one roof has its pros and cons. More the latter than the former. I mean, it doesn't have its advantages so I guess it's more of a disadvantage, no? I've started to enjoy doing the work that I don't forsee me doing for the next many years but I do, just as good, as it is a form of education in its own way.
Abe says that my postings have gotten boring with time. I guess I'm more boring too now with nothing to talk about either. Ah. It'll pass.. maybe.
Upon waking up this morning, I thought of getting ready and go to work early considering that I have an 11am appointment to keep and that I might also have some work waiting at the office since it was a public holiday yesterday.
But I played Scrabble instead and yes, thinking takes time and it's now quarter to 9. I'm still in the same condition as I was earlier although more brain active which then prompted me to write. I have not been so keen on writing lately simply because I had so many other things to do that distracted me enough.
The weekend was alright. Nothing unruly happened except on Sunday when I accidentally hit a guy during basketball. It was an honest mistake but he had to make a big deal out of it. Ntahlah, have always tried to stay away from fights either verbal or physical but I just had to ward him off. It didn't feel good in the end.
On a better note, I had good lunch and dinner yesterday (oh, all other days' dinners and lunches and breakfasts were as good, just the drama :P). Yesterday began WAAAAAAY early for me, waking up at 4++ to get ready, fetch Mali and send him to KLIA. He is now in Indonesia on one of his business trips. My friend's gone international and I'm happy for him :)
It's a Tuesday today, happy happy week everyone!
A tired body aching joints Signs of age and weakened points As the numbers grow and youth begone The head messes up, the thoughts torn
I am happy though despite all that I've got gorgeous and hotness and coolness intact You may not understand what I mean but see I know someone else does, better than me
Ah, this vain old man who's past his time "Blah la mate, perasan tak habis!" Sometime.. One day when you reach my age and prime It'll work for you, it will, this rhyme.
Do you think you don't know enough about yourself that you have to take a quiz created by God-knows-who to determine who you really are ? Doesn't matter the answer is yes or no, coz you're it! =P And don't forget to tag it afterwards!
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
If anyone's seen them before, I have in my possession a Dooodolls named Mr. Nerdie. It's blue! Dah ambik gambar tapi takleh nak upload from home since I didn't install any upload thing at home. Oh, looking at its eyes might remind you of a certain guy named Syahid bin Mohd. Zain :D
Mr. Nerdie Leo July 23 - August 22
Mr. Nerdie is a brilliant scientist and can solve complicated mathematical equations in seconds.
I didn't know that work could be so time consuming, until I started working. And that was two days ago.
Now, I wish I didn't have to work in the first place.
But being busy is a good indication because it shows that I am employed and I have means to pay my dues at the end of the day/month. Being busy tells me that although the work might not suit my fancy, I have people who appreciate what little 'talents' I have. Being busy tells me that I'm slow.. hahaha.. :P
I'm overwhelmed but have enough time to talk about it on blogspot. YOU go figure.. :)
It was quite some week, that was. I cannot recall what I actually did because things that I do which has no consequence in the future are usually left there, in the past.
I had a conversation with a friend about two weeks ago where I was told that I 'helped' her overcome her anger with some people she was dealing with back then. Which I had totally forgotten and had to ask her to refresh my memory of what I actually did. So she said and I, being the 'let it go' person wondered if I actually did it because it sounded fictional. Yes, I am capable of telling people stuff (and stuff that I tell are those that I hold to, not those that I support in theory) but being told that I said things she said I said, I thought, nasib baik cakap macam tu :P
To which comes the story of my new end-of-day task, the daily report. I was initially upset with my boss for demanding that we all write a daily report to him before leaving office. I find that request offensive because to my thought then, it was a request by the guys higher up to spy on our productivity level so that those who did not perform can be axed. It is tough times now. Being the Azmil I am, I procrastinated with my report and received an email the next day, "I didn't receive your report. Is there any problem?" I replied to that email by sending a report and adding, at the bottom, "I am very uncomfortable having to write this daily report."
We had a chat, my boss and I, later that day and he explained what's going on. The report that we write daily was a request by my boss, not the higher uppers simply because he is now on the go most of the time and have other things to think of, including issues relating to the new office in India. The daily report would then be used to gauge how much or how little work we've done as well as progress of any given tasks.
"I'm fine with writing reports to you. I thought it was a request by the higher uppers," was kinda what I told him.
So, neways, last week, had a few enquiries, small groups of 50 pax each doing different different stuff. Had also enquiries by some 'partners' for rates and friends for packages. The week was rather fun with the exception of some 'faces' by disapproving parties.
I don't know lah. I thought being a small office, we'd gel in easily amongst us but that proved to be quite an issue as well. I have always been the "go solve your own issues yourself and outside office hours" but when people started pulling faces, it makes me feel like giving them a hard kick on the but, literally. Dude, your responsibility is yours and yours alone. Don't point fingers at others and demand help or assistance. Help and assistance are just what they are: HELP and ASSISTANCE. You don't have any rights to demand help from anyone.
help(MAKE EASIER)Show phonetics verb 1[I or T]to make it possible or easier for someone to do something, by doing part of the work yourself
I guess it's a cyclical reference here, hehe.. I think I wrote about this help thing in a previous post (malas nak gi cari dan letak penghubung (link?)) but I'd like to repeat.
The best example I've encountered in terms of help came from a senior in Uni. I was in third year and he was a senior moving towards graduating. This guy, Syed Haider is a Pakistani. We were both in the same department and went to a few same classes. One day, he came to me asking me to help his application at the office because it was taking quite some time. Being a local and also formerly a board member in the engineering students' society, he was hoping that my probe would help hasten whatever that he needed processing.
So Azmil, the procrastinator, procrastinated. The next day, met him at the same place again and he asked if I did what he asked me to help him with and with guilt, I said no and apologised. He said, "No, no, it's okay. I'm asking you for help, it is not right for me to ask for it to be done immediately,"
Lagi la rasa guilty! :P
But I went to the Admin office that day and enquired about his issue. He got it done the same week.
Yes, I remember his full name, Syed Haider Ali Shahzad.
I want to write about the concept "Pay it forward" from a story with the same title but that will have to be next time.
When you get over a hurdle that you've been wanting to get over The hurdle you leave goes further and further The life that you see ahead comes nearer and nearer The tales that you have becomes better and better The feeling elates you higher and higher The courage determines you get stronger and stronger The hurdle you leave behind goes further and further The vision in front becomes clearer.
Seminggu lamanya aku tak cerita-cerita kat sini. Ha, betul la, sebab last sekali aku tulis pun bulan lepas. Seminggu ni jugak aku rasa aku paling berhemah sekali datang kerja. Bukan sekadar tak lambat, malah ada yang datang 1.5 jam lebih awal daripada waktu yang sepatutnya. Hahaha.. aku sendiri terkejut. Hebat, no?
Jangan tak tahu, aku ni jenis orang yang pantang ada waktu lapor diri, mesti boleh lambat sikit. Kalau masuk kerja patutnya pukul 8, aku sampai 8:30. Patutnya pukul 9, aku sampai 9:30. Jadi tak hairanlah bila waktu kerja aku patutnya pukul 10, aku sampai 10:30. Sampaikan ada rakan sepejabat aku tulis surat aduan kepada bos aku sebab aku selalu sangat datang lambat.
Dapat pulak satu masa tu, dalam seminggu, bukan je aku datang terlewat sikit tapi aku pun balik awal. Bukan apa, dalam seminggu tu jugak la aku berulang-alik ke Seri Menanti dengan abang aku dan kereta hitam dia. Sempat la jugak salah satu malam dalam seminggu tu aku sebat kereta dia lebih 180km/j. Hebat aku rasa bawak keta dia tapi bukan jenisnya untuk aku. Aku suka bawak keta laju-laju tapi aku tak suka berenti kalau ada lubang ke, ada jalan yang tak rata ke. Jadinya kenderaan yang manja dan tak mampu nak redah segala ni mungkin bukan untuk aku. Haa, yang untuk aku, itu gergasi hitam berlogo bujur-bujur itu.. Kalau kasi lowered sikit, pergh! hahaha..
Oh, berbalik kepada kisah yang aku nak ceritakan ni, memandangkan aku bukan pekerja contoh dan ketidakcontohan aku ini telahpun diadukan kepada 'pihak yang bertanggung', dan setelah ditegur oleh sipenanggung itu, aku pun terasa untuk berbuat baik dan berdisiplin sikitlah. Mungkin sedikit sahaja tapi sedikit itulah yang paling berkesan.
Jadi untuk sepanjang minggu ini, kehadiran aku bukan sahaja boleh dibuat contoh malah tak malulah kiranya ingin dimuatkan ke dalam kategori pekerja mithali seantero syarikat. Bukan sahaja aku datang terlampau awal, buat kerja bagai nak pecah perut, kerongkong dan kepala lutut malah tugasan yang kebiasaannya dilakukan oleh dua orang pekerja aku laksanakan sendiri tanpa timbul masalah besar. Aku, yang tidak punya apa-apa pengalaman terdahulu berkaitan industri ini kini mampu menangani kehendak pelanggan dengan jayanya.
Jangan tak rasa hebat la, kan?
Setiba sahaja di pejabat, ada-ada aja perkara yang perlu dilakukan. Begitu banyaknya kerja pada tempoh ini hinggakan aku tidak punya masa untuk berfacebook mahupun melewati emel-emel aku melainkan untuk beberapa ketika yang pendek sahaja. Sungguh, aku terasa begitu 'invigorated' sekali dan berkali-kali lagi. Terasa bermakna dan memberi erti. Sungguh, aku terasa seperti layak penerimaan gaji pada tempoh tersebut.
Tapi Azmil akan tetap menjadi Azmil. Hari ini aku masuk pejabat jam 11pagi.
i was on the way back yesterday passing through my normal route. It's not uncommon for me to encounter idiotic drivers along the way and yesterday was no exception.
It started quite early, as early as on the bridge crossing the Pandan roundabout. That bridge has two lanes both leading to Pandan Perdana but the left lane also leads to Kampung Pandan. The guy was driving on the right lane, slowly, when the left lane was empty. True enough, as the exit to Kampung Pandan was insanely near, he changes lane and exits. No finger gestures from me although I felt like whacking him to kingdom come.
Nothing eventful in Pandan Perdana except for a Kenari who thinks stealth mode is awesome and drove without his lights on. It was after maghrib and raining.
At the traffic light near Raintree was a Swift rushing to exit first.
Trailed a car which was trailing a slow car. When the slow car turned left, I sped to overtake but the joyful chap sped to match my speed for a good 200m. I think he thinks it's very funny doing that. I got a flash from an oncoming truck and queued behind mr. Funny again.
Got home only to find that all parking spaces have been occupied by guests of some houses resulting in me having to double park in my own neighbourhood. Then noticed that a Kancil took a huge parking space fit for 2 MyVis.
Gave up on thinking, went in, had dinner then withdrew from the outside world..
I went for a stream-side picnic today. Mind you, it wasn't rosy as you think it'd be. It took us 45 minutes hiking (in slippers and across a jungle-y landscape) to and back and I had (as expected) a tummy issue just as we were about to leave the picnic site.
The thing is, this site is not so far away from the main road because on a quiet day, we can hear cars passing-by although by a stream, not many of those quiet days can be chanced upon. It was nice still because the place wasn't out of reach and that we had bbq for lunch which was almost unlimited in quantity and that the place looked untouched since we last went there, which could've been CNY last year. The rocks were slippery but there were signs of newly felled bamboo trees unearthed by rain.
The water was as cold as it was before but that didn't deter me from entering. I would usually be the last to enter water be it a stream or the sea but I was the first to complete 'initiation' by being fully submerged. The combination of sun and water, warm and chilling cold was very welcoming but the good times had to end rather prematurely due to spots of dark clouds and because I had a function to attend to tonight.
Fast forward to tonight's function, I met Inteam. Don't know if any of you know them but Inteam has some albums out - they're recording artistes - made up of graduates from Malaysian universities.
The 'opportunistic' me just cannot sit still, so I took Amin's number for future potential travel arrangements.
The night ends with whiffs of 'burnt' cookies, or more aptly named burnt baked brownies (or at least they smell burnt!) from downstairs.
"As the Arabs see the Jews" His Majesty King Abdullah,
The American Magazine November, 1947
Summary
This fascinating essay, written by King Hussein’s grandfather King Abdullah, appeared in the United States six months before the 1948 Arab-Israeli War. In the article, King Abdullah disputes the mistaken view that Arab opposition to Zionism (and later the state of Israel) is because of longstanding religious or ethnic hatred. He notes that Jews and Muslims enjoyed a long history of peaceful coexistence in the Middle East, and that Jews have historically suffered far more at the hands of Christian Europe. Pointing to the tragedy of the holocaust that Jews suffered during World War II, the monarch asks why America and Europe are refusing to accept more than a token handful of Jewish immigrants and refugees. It is unfair, he argues, to make Palestine, which is innocent of anti-Semitism, pay for the crimes of Europe. King Abdullah also asks how Jews can claim a historic right to Palestine, when Arabs have been the overwhelming majority there for nearly 1300 uninterrupted years? The essay ends on an ominous note, warning of dire consequences if a peaceful solution cannot be found to protect the rights of the indigenous Arabs of Palestine.
"As the Arabs see the Jews" His Majesty King Abdullah,
The American Magazine November, 1947
I am especially delighted to address an American audience, for the tragic problem of Palestine will never be solved without American understanding, American sympathy, American support.
So many billions of words have been written about Palestine—perhaps more than on any other subject in history—that I hesitate to add to them. Yet I am compelled to do so, for I am reluctantly convinced that the world in general, and America in particular, knows almost nothing of the true case for the Arabs.
We Arabs follow, perhaps far more than you think, the press of America. We are frankly disturbed to find that for every word printed on the Arab side, a thousand are printed on the Zionist side.
There are many reasons for this. You have many millions of Jewish citizens interested in this question. They are highly vocal and wise in the ways of publicity. There are few Arab citizens in America, and we are as yet unskilled in the technique of modern propaganda.
The results have been alarming for us. In your press we see a horrible caricature and are told it is our true portrait. In all justice, we cannot let this pass by default.
Our case is quite simple: For nearly 2,000 years Palestine has been almost 100 per cent Arab. It is still preponderantly Arab today, in spite of enormous Jewish immigration. But if this immigration continues we shall soon be outnumbered—a minority in our home.
Palestine is a small and very poor country, about the size of your state of Vermont. Its Arab population is only about 1,200,000. Already we have had forced on us, against our will, some 600,000 Zionist Jews. We are threatened with many hundreds of thousands more.
Our position is so simple and natural that we are amazed it should even be questioned. It is exactly the same position you in America take in regard to the unhappy European Jews. You are sorry for them, but you do not want them in your country.
We do not want them in ours, either. Not because they are Jews, but because they are foreigners. We would not want hundreds of thousands of foreigners in our country, be they Englishmen or Norwegians or Brazilians or whatever.
Think for a moment: In the last 25 years we have had one third of our entire population forced upon us. In America that would be the equivalent of 45,000,000 complete strangers admitted to your country, over your violent protest, since 1921. How would you have reacted to that?
Because of our perfectly natural dislike of being overwhelmed in our own homeland, we are called blind nationalists and heartless anti-Semites. This charge would be ludicrous were it not so dangerous.
No people on earth have been less "anti-Semitic" than the Arabs. The persecution of the Jews has been confined almost entirely to the Christian nations of the West. Jews, themselves, will admit that never since the Great Dispersion did Jews develop so freely and reach such importance as in Spain when it was an Arab possession. With very minor exceptions, Jews have lived for many centuries in the Middle East, in complete peace and friendliness with their Arab neighbours.
Damascus, Baghdad, Beirut and other Arab centres have always contained large and prosperous Jewish colonies. Until the Zionist invasion of Palestine began, these Jews received the most generous treatment—far, far better than in Christian Europe. Now, unhappily, for the first time in history, these Jews are beginning to feel the effects of Arab resistance to the Zionist assault. Most of them are as anxious as Arabs to stop it. Most of these Jews who have found happy homes among us resent, as we do, the coming of these strangers.
I was puzzled for a long time about the odd belief which apparently persists in America that Palestine has somehow "always been a Jewish land." Recently an American I talked to cleared up this mystery. He pointed out that the only things most Americans know about Palestine are what they read in the Bible. It was a Jewish land in those days, they reason, and they assume it has always remained so.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. It is absurd to reach so far back into the mists of history to argue about who should have Palestine today, and I apologise for it. Yet the Jews do this, and I must reply to their "historic claim." I wonder if the world has ever seen a stranger sight than a group of people seriously pretending to claim a land because their ancestors lived there some 2,000 years ago!
If you suggest that I am biased, I invite you to read any sound history of the period and verify the facts.
Such fragmentary records as we have indicate that the Jews were wandering nomads from Iraq who moved to southern Turkey, came south to Palestine, stayed there a short time, and then passed to Egypt, where they remained about 400 years. About 1300 BC (according to your calendar) they left Egypt and gradually conquered most—but not all—of the inhabitants of Palestine.
It is significant that the Philistines—not the Jews—gave their name to the country: "Palestine" is merely the Greek form of "Philistia."
Only once, during the empire of David and Solomon, did the Jews ever control nearly—but not all—the land which is today Palestine. This empire lasted only 70 years, ending in 926 BC. Only 250 years later the Kingdom of Judah had shrunk to a small province around Jerusalem, barely a quarter of modern Palestine.
In 63 BC the Jews were conquered by Roman Pompey, and never again had even the vestige of independence. The Roman Emperor Hadrian finally wiped them out about 135 AD. He utterly destroyed Jerusalem, rebuilt under another name, and for hundreds of years no Jew was permitted to enter it. A handful of Jews remained in Palestine but the vast majority were killed or scattered to other countries, in the Diaspora, or the Great Dispersion. From that time Palestine ceased to be a Jewish country, in any conceivable sense.
This was 1,815 years ago, and yet the Jews solemnly pretend they still own Palestine! If such fantasy were allowed, how the map of the world would dance about!
Italians might claim England, which the Romans held so long. England might claim France, "homeland" of the conquering Normans. And the French Normans might claim Norway, where their ancestors originated. And incidentally, we Arabs might claim Spain, which we held for 700 years.
Many Mexicans might claim Spain, "homeland" of their forefathers. They might even claim Texas, which was Mexican until 100 years ago. And suppose the American Indians claimed the "homeland" of which they were the sole, native, and ancient occupants until only some 450 years ago!
I am not being facetious. All these claims are just as valid—or just as fantastic—as the Jewish "historic connection" with Palestine. Most are more valid.
In any event, the great Moslem expansion about 650 AD finally settled things. It dominated Palestine completely. From that day on, Palestine was solidly Arabic in population, language, and religion. When British armies entered the country during the last war, they found 500,000 Arabs and only 65,000 Jews.
If solid, uninterrupted Arab occupation for nearly 1,300 years does not make a country "Arab", what does?
The Jews say, and rightly, that Palestine is the home of their religion. It is likewise the birthplace of Christianity, but would any Christian nation claim it on that account? In passing, let me say that the Christian Arabs—and there are many hundreds of thousands of them in the Arab World—are in absolute agreement with all other Arabs in opposing the Zionist invasion of Palestine.
May I also point out that Jerusalem is, after Mecca and Medina, the holiest place in Islam. In fact, in the early days of our religion, Moslems prayed toward Jerusalem instead of Mecca.
The Jewish "religious claim" to Palestine is as absurd as the "historic claim." The Holy Places, sacred to three great religions, must be open to all, the monopoly of none. Let us not confuse religion and politics.
We are told that we are inhumane and heartless because do not accept with open arms the perhaps 200,000 Jews in Europe who suffered so frightfully under Nazi cruelty, and who even now—almost three years after war’s end—still languish in cold, depressing camps.
Let me underline several facts. The unimaginable persecution of the Jews was not done by the Arabs: it was done by a Christian nation in the West. The war which ruined Europe and made it almost impossible for these Jews to rehabilitate themselves was fought by the Christian nations of the West. The rich and empty portions of the earth belong, not to the Arabs, but to the Christian nations of the West.
And yet, to ease their consciences, these Christian nations of the West are asking Palestine—a poor and tiny Moslem country of the East—to accept the entire burden. "We have hurt these people terribly," cries the West to the East. "Won’t you please take care of them for us?"
We find neither logic nor justice in this. Are we therefore "cruel and heartless nationalists"?
We are a generous people: we are proud that "Arab hospitality" is a phrase famous throughout the world. We are a humane people: no one was shocked more than we by the Hitlerite terror. No one pities the present plight of the desperate European Jews more than we.
But we say that Palestine has already sheltered 600,000 refugees. We believe that is enough to expect of us—even too much. We believe it is now the turn of the rest of the world to accept some of them.
I will be entirely frank with you. There is one thing the Arab world simply cannot understand. Of all the nations of the earth, America is most insistent that something be done for these suffering Jews of Europe. This feeling does credit to the humanity for which America is famous, and to that glorious inscription on your Statue of Liberty.
And yet this same America—the richest, greatest, most powerful nation the world has ever known—refuses to accept more than a token handful of these same Jews herself!
I hope you will not think I am being bitter about this. I have tried hard to understand that mysterious paradox, and I confess I cannot. Nor can any other Arab.
Perhaps you have been informed that "the Jews in Europe want to go to no other place except Palestine."
This myth is one of the greatest propaganda triumphs of the Jewish Agency for Palestine, the organisation which promotes with fanatic zeal the emigration to Palestine. It is a subtle half-truth, thus doubly dangerous.
The astounding truth is that nobody on earth really knows where these unfortunate Jews really want to go!
You would think that in so grave a problem, the American, British, and other authorities responsible for the European Jews would have made a very careful survey, probably by vote, to find out where each Jew actually wants to go. Amazingly enough this has never been done! The Jewish Agency has prevented it.
Some time ago the American Military Governor in Germany was asked at a press conference how he was so certain that all Jews there wanted to go to Palestine. His answer was simple: "My Jewish advisors tell me so." He admitted no poll had ever been made. Preparations were indeed begun for one, but the Jewish Agency stepped in to stop it.
The truth is that the Jews in German camps are now subjected to a Zionist pressure campaign which learned much from the Nazi terror. It is dangerous for a Jew to say that he would rather go to some other country, not Palestine. Such dissenters have been severely beaten, and worse.
Not long ago, in Palestine, nearly 1,000 Austrian Jews informed the international refugee organisation that they would like to go back to Austria, and plans were made to repatriate them.
The Jewish Agency heard of this, and exerted enough political pressure to stop it. It would be bad propaganda for Zionism if Jews began leaving Palestine. The nearly 1,000 Austrian are still there, against their will.
The fact is that most of the European Jews are Western in culture and outlook, entirely urban in experience and habits. They cannot really have their hearts set on becoming pioneers in the barren, arid, cramped land which is Palestine.
One thing, however, is undoubtedly true. As matters stand now, most refugee Jews in Europe would, indeed, vote for Palestine, simply because they know no other country will have them.
If you or I were given a choice between a near-prison camp for the rest of our lives—or Palestine—we would both choose Palestine, too.
But open up any other alternative to them—give them any other choice, and see what happens!
No poll, however, will be worth anything unless the nations of the earth are willing to open their doors—just a little—to the Jews. In other words, if in such a poll a Jew says he wants to go to Sweden, Sweden must be willing to accept him. If he votes for America, you must let him come in.
Any other kind of poll would be a farce. For the desperate Jew, this is no idle testing of opinion: this is a grave matter of life or death. Unless he is absolutely sure that his vote means something, he will always vote for Palestine, so as not to risk his bird in the hand for one in the bush.
In any event, Palestine can accept no more. The 65,000 Jews in Palestine in 1918 have jumped to 600,000 today. We Arabs have increased, too, but not by immigration. The Jews were then a mere 11 per cent of our population. Today they are one third of it.
The rate of increase has been terrifying. In a few more years—unless stopped now—it will overwhelm us, and we shall be an important minority in our own home.
Surely the rest of the wide world is rich enough and generous enough to find a place for 200,000 Jews—about one third the number that tiny, poor Palestine has already sheltered. For the rest of the world, it is hardly a drop in the bucket. For us it means national suicide.
We are sometimes told that since the Jews came to Palestine, the Arab standard of living has improved. This is a most complicated question. But let us even assume, for the argument, that it is true. We would rather be a bit poorer, and masters of our own home. Is this unnatural?
The sorry story of the so-called "Balfour Declaration," which started Zionist immigration into Palestine, is too complicated to repeat here in detail. It is grounded in broken promises to the Arabs—promises made in cold print which admit no denying.
We utterly deny its validity. We utterly deny the right of Great Britain to give away Arab land for a "national home" for an entirely foreign people.
Even the League of Nations sanction does not alter this. At the time, not a single Arab state was a member of the League. We were not allowed to say a word in our own defense.
I must point out, again in friendly frankness, that America was nearly as responsible as Britain for this Balfour Declaration. President Wilson approved it before it was issued, and the American Congress adopted it word for word in a joint resolution on 30th June, 1922.
In the 1920s, Arabs were annoyed and insulted by Zionist immigration, but not alarmed by it. It was steady, but fairly small, as even the Zionist founders thought it would remain. Indeed for some years, more Jews left Palestine than entered it—in 1927 almost twice as many.
But two new factors, entirely unforeseen by Britain or the League or America or the most fervent Zionist, arose in the early thirties to raise the immigration to undreamed heights. One was the World Depression; the second the rise of Hitler.
In 1932, the year before Hitler came to power, only 9,500 Jews came to Palestine. We did not welcome them, but we were not afraid that, at that rate, our solid Arab majority would ever be in danger.
But the next year—the year of Hitler—it jumped to 30,000! In 1934 it was 42,000! In 1935 it reached 61,000!
It was no longer the orderly arrival of idealist Zionists. Rather, all Europe was pouring its frightened Jews upon us. Then, at last, we, too, became frightened. We knew that unless this enormous influx stopped, we were, as Arabs, doomed in our Palestine homeland. And we have not changed our minds.
I have the impression that many Americans believe the trouble in Palestine is very remote from them, that America had little to do with it, and that your only interest now is that of a humane bystander.
I believe that you do not realise how directly you are, as a nation, responsible in general for the whole Zionist move and specifically for the present terrorism. I call this to your attention because I am certain that if you realise your responsibility you will act fairly to admit it and assume it.
Quite aside from official American support for the "National Home" of the Balfour Declaration, the Zionist settlements in Palestine would have been almost impossible, on anything like the current scale, without American money. This was contributed by American Jewry in an idealistic effort to help their fellows.
The motive was worthy: the result were disastrous. The contributions were by private individuals, but they were almost entirely Americans, and, as a nation, only America can answer for it.
The present catastrophe may be laid almost entirely at your door. Your government, almost alone in the world, is insisting on the immediate admission of 100,000 more Jews into Palestine—to be followed by countless additional ones. This will have the most frightful consequences in bloody chaos beyond anything ever hinted at in Palestine before.
It is your press and political leadership, almost alone in the world, who press this demand. It is almost entirely American money which hires or buys the "refugee ships" that steam illegally toward Palestine: American money which pays their crews. The illegal immigration from Europe is arranged by the Jewish Agency, supported almost entirely by American funds. It is American dollars which support the terrorists, which buy the bullets and pistols that kill British soldiers—your allies—and Arab citizens—your friends.
We in the Arab world were stunned to hear that you permit open advertisements in newspapers asking for money to finance these terrorists, to arm them openly and deliberately for murder. We could not believe this could really happen in the modern world. Now we must believe it: we have seen the advertisements with our own eyes.
I point out these things because nothing less than complete frankness will be of use. The crisis is too stark for mere polite vagueness which means nothing.
I have the most complete confidence in the fair-mindedness and generosity of the American public. We Arabs ask no favours. We ask only that you know the full truth, not half of it. We ask only that when you judge the Palestine question, you put yourselves in our place.
What would your answer be if some outside agency told you that you must accept in America many millions of utter strangers in your midst—enough to dominate your country—merely because they insisted on going to America, and because their forefathers had once lived there some 2,000 years ago?
Our answer is the same.
And what would be your action if, in spite of your refusal, this outside agency began forcing them on you?
Your Interpersonal Intelligence is High
You are definitely a "people person." You enjoy spending time with others.
You instinctively understand people, and you are both a good counsellor and mediator.
However, there are definitely times when you've had enough. And that's when you cherish being alone.
You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.
You work well with others and enjoy learning practical skills.
You Should Study:
Culinary Arts
Dentistry
Education
Environmental Science
Fashion Merchandising
International Studies
Medicine
Nursing
Nutrition Science
Psychology
