Wednesday 27 August 2008

Who are we really?

I know I have a name.

And that's reinforced by the fact that this same name is on my National Identity Card and also on my Malaysian Passport. And that I use this name wherever I go, whatever I do that requires filling in forms and to state my existence. Not to forget that people calls me by this reference as well.

And thus, I know I exist, at least to the other people whom I see and know exist as well.

(writing this while waiting for Celcom's website to load.. was good in the morning, getting much slower now.)

But who is this Tuan Azmil Abdullah bin Tuan Ibrahim? Son of the land is he? Owner of rights is he? Beneficiary of rights is he? Or is he merely someone who in existence knows not what rights he has from the daily butchering of rights by those who claim to be fighting for his rights (or, from his own ignorance)?

I refer (again, to a limited exposure of the person, from a play directed by a respected director, in the presence and in honour of his son and wife) to a short play I saw of Tun Dr. Ismail, the Reluctant Politician (as was portrayed in a book).

(Now talking to a Blue Cube dealer)

Tun Abdul Razak put forward the proposal of an NEP which was objected by TDI because he sees more problems as compared to benefits coming from it. TAR on the other hand insists on it being the better solution as the racial issue that resulted in the 13 May 1969 riots stemmed from the inequality in wealth, for reasons I've not researched yet.

Fast forward 50 years, the NEP is still in existence although it was replaced in name by NDP and despite its existence, there are still many poor and ill-cared-for Malays who were supposed to have been taken cared of by the policy.

I do not wish to be ungrateful nor do I wish to be an extremist. One benefit I saw out of me being a Malay is in education. I was accepted into a boarding school which had at most 90% bumiputera and at least 50 mixed Chinese-Indian-Punjabi races. It may not seem a lot for those of you who went to schools with 700 to 2000 students but in our school of about 400 students, that accounts to 12.5% of the population. That wouldn't have happened in an ordinary school run by the Ministry of Education. Then I went to a university that not only accepts a multitude of races but also a very good mix of nationalities as well. I had friends from Macedonia, Bosnia, Saudi Arabia, Oman, UAE (although this particular guy is a Somali by birth :P), Phillipines, Indonesia and not to forget also Malaysia.

I strongly believe that had I not been a Malay, I wouldn't have chanced upon this much exposure.

I didn't receive scholarships nor did I apply for loans. I was not a part of any political formation nor did I land any jobs due to my political views. I was however offered a well paying job for being Malay. Keyword here is: offered.

How would I react, had I been on the other side of the fence, not getting into universities because of my race or marginalised because of it? I don't know. But I don't think I'd like it that much because it's simply not fair. If I were to say this out loud, I would be ostracised for being vocal and for 'forgetting my roots'. But were my roots firmly rooted in this country? No it wasn't. My great great grandparents were from a land now part of Southern Thailand, for most of it. On my maternal grandfather's side, we were from Indonesia. If there were any gratefulness that should come about, it should be for the acknowledgement those countries accord me should I go there.

From the SO MANY Malays who claim to fight for their rights, the rights as a Bumiputera, I wonder how many would be able to trace their roots beyond who their grandfather or great grandfather was? I wonder who amongst them would have at least 3 generations living on this land? Do they really know what the fight is for or is it just a mere 'protecting your boundaries' thing?

Ntahlah. I do feel that to an extent, I have been weakened by the limited exposure I have. I wonder if races play a role in our natural development and growth. I wonder if there is such a research done to show that the Chinese has it in their genes to be more successful as compared to the Malays or that the Indians are better speakers as compared to the other two or if the Malays are stronger in championing justice? If there was such a study and an accepted conclusion was found, damn us all for our fates have been sealed.

Otherwise, why fret? What's the big deal in having a more open-door policy towards other races? If we fail to accept that we are equal to any other races in this country or the world, we're only saying that we're weak and boneless. If we claim that we're supreme, as many (politicians, wannabes and the general public alike) claim, the only way to gauge our claims is to take the challenge of facing the tide.

After all, what matters in the afterlife is how good we are as Muslims.

Tahun yang kurang rasa merdeka

Aku tak tahu apa masalahnya tahun ni tapi sambutan hari kemerdekaan yang ke 51 tak sama seperti tahun-tahun yang sebelumnya. Pertamanya, rumah aku masih belum kibarkan bendera. Ini sangat pelik sebab tahun-tahun yang sebelumnya, tak boleh tidak, belum habis lagi satu minggu bulan Ogos, bendera dah terpacak di tiang di luar rumah. Tak lama selepas itu, pasti jiran-jiran di kiri dan kanan rumah mengibarkan bendera yang sama di luar rumah masing-masing.

Kami merupakan jiran tipikal bandar yang kurang berucap sesama sendiri tetapi apabila terserempak di pagar rumah apabila salah satu ingin keluar ataupun semata-mata untuk menyiram bunga sekalipun, pasti akan berlaku teguran dari satu kepada yang lain. Di sebelah kiri rumah ialah Uncle dan Aunty Tan yang anaknya CK Tan dan menantunya Aunty Putri manakala di sebelah kanan rumah pula Aunty Mas dan suaminya Uncle Idris. Rumah kami diapit rumah-rumah yang agak sunyi oleh kerana penghuninya warga tua yang anak-anaknya sudah membesar dan mendiami rumah lain bersama keluarga masing-masing. Oleh itu, sudah tentunya rumah kamilah yang paling bising sekali.

Background information over, now's the story about the flag. I'm still wondering why despite the National Day approaching very near, we have yet to fly our flag. The flag is in tatters now and I have to get a replacement but I don't see people selling flag around my work place. I do see a little more flags than on ordinary days being put up but they don't seem to have it sold. Must drop in and enquire at Petronas.

I made a resolution last year that I shall start buying a new flag for every National Day from then on. Somehow I do have this feeling that I'm the only person left out from this National Day emotion due to my isolation from the crowd and the Malaysian world. It wasn't so last year, nor the years before.

Hey, even the office does not have a flag. Talk about being patriotic? NOT! Good thing is that the building management put up flags at the atrium and that made the place look a little more... Merdeka-ish.

Anyone know of a place to buy GOOD QUALITY Jalur Gemilang?

Friday 22 August 2008

Tuan's Wants..

Apa nak cerita hari ni eh?

We're currently having a Tour Plan training in office, conducted by an in-house expert from Dubai. Yeah, in-house? Dubai? Oh, it's our other branch, or rather, the second oldest branch of the company. We get most of our 'orders' from them, being inbound and whatnots.

It's been fun but to a certain extent, confusing as all trainings are, considering there are so many windows to look at, so many buttons to click and so much data to enter. It's not a problem about data per se rather the rates, on errors and faults and whatever else that deals with data entry. Data entry has been so.. elementary that doing it again seems like a task rather than a breeze.

Anyway.

I must be doing nothing much lately since all of a sudden, it's already Friday. Banyak rugikan masa kot, not doing enough beneficial activities.

Got a call from a few people inquiring if I'd be returning to my former office. They know and I don't? Coz I don't. Simply put, I told them that no one's contacted me yet wrt the opportunity and as such, I have not made any decisions. To some, I replied, "If the person who asks can sign me an offer letter, I'd be willing to answer/talk. If it's just the ordinary Joe who asks for the sake of asking, what's the purpose of answering?"

Went to Low Yatt yesterday and the day before to first survey then buy a laptop for a friend's BIL/sister. A good deal I must say, RM1450 for Centrino 1.74GHz, 1GB RAM, 120GB hard disk with some freebies thrown in. I guess he was lucky since no other shop that we scouted had an offer like that.

Also (finally) banked-in my July paycheque earlier this week after procrastinating. It vanished within 10 clicks. Yes, online banking and its clicks. I'm now able to happily answer phonecalls from Citibank.. :)

I guess that summarises the two weeks that I had. Raya plans? Not sure. Ramadhan is approaching and I've got lots to do then.. Like repent, beg for forgiveness and try to do deeds to help balance my scale.

Oh, what have I done?

.

.

...

Friday 15 August 2008

Maybe, rated..

As light turns dark
and day turn night
Lonely in the park
sitting side by side
Gazing at the stars
and the moon's gentle glow
Two beating hearts
lay silent, no one knows

As night gets deeper
and day drifts further
Two beating hearts
still together not apart
Watch the sky shift
from clear to spots of clouds
Two hearts going under
restless for some cover

The rain came and went
as night is day again
Two hearts now spent
taking cover from the rain
Walked forth from the shelter
headed for the diner
Two beating hearts
clearly feeling hunger

Along the city streets
avoiding cars and buses
In the door they stepped their feet
"Sorry, we don't serve dogs here"

:)

Thursday 14 August 2008

When The Phone Rings and No One's There..

When the phone rings
and no one's there
I can hear the voice sing
loudly and clear

Of Justin and Madonna
and occasionally Adib
The songs just make me wanna
join in and sing ad-lib

When the phone rings
and no one's near
I want to say something
I guess I'll have to try later

Wednesday 6 August 2008

Sandals? Slippers?

It's no biggie. Just to know a general population's opinion. BTW, General Population (or genpop) is usually referred to convicts in a prison's main containment area, although not in this case.

I've always referred to sandals as being those semi toe-covering pieces of footwear that actually has more than two straps over each straddling foot. Many friends that I know considers expensive slippers as sandals as well.

My opinion is that a sandal looks like this:

*A long absence in search for pictures, answering nature's call and googling*

And I found these..

SLIPPER

The word is recorded in English in 1478, deriving from the much older verb to slip, the notion being of footwear that is "slipped" onto the foot.

Slippers are frequently made out of soft materials such as felt, terrycloth or soft leather, and may or may not be lined. Some slippers, particularly those meant to be used near pools, bathrooms, or other wet places, are made of plastic or rubber. Slippers generally have thin and flexible soles, with a shallow tread meant only to prevent the wearer from slipping on smooth floors. In contrast, shoes and boots are generally made of canvas, plastic, rubber, or leather, and often have thick soles.

Slippers may be shaped like a shoe (foot inserted through top), or may have no heel, so the foot can be slipped in the back. They now come in many colourful designs – cartoon characters, patterns and animals are often used to decorate this type of footwear.


SANDALS

Sandals are an open type of footwear, consisting of a sole held to the wearer's foot by straps or thongs passing over the instep and around the ankle. While the distinction between sandals and other types of footwear can sometimes be blurry (as in the

case of huaraches—the woven leather footwear seen in Mexico), the common understanding is that a sandal reveals most or all of the foot (especially the toes) to view. People may choose to wear sandals for several reasons, among them economy (sandals tend to require less material than shoes), comfort in warm weather, and for reasons of fashion and attractiveness.

Usually, sandals are worn in warmer climates or during warmer parts of the year, because feet stay cool and dry. The chances of getting a fungal infection on your feet (athlete's foot) is lower than with wearing an enclosed shoe, and wearing sandals may be part of treatment for a fungal foot infection. Wearing sandals with socks is considered by many to be a faux pas.


After 30 years, I finally know. No longer need a genpop opinion.. :-S

Tuesday 5 August 2008

I know..

I know I have to go home now. It's already late and the clock will strike very soon. But just as I was about to click start>shut down, I decided to blog.

What the..??

So here I am. Came back from Singapore safe and sound, alhamdulillah, under the lead of Safwan Fadzli and the napping-and-occasional-glimpsing me. It was two long days filled with sleep, chat and walks through the streets of Singapore. We were fortunate to have experienced the dry run for the upcoming Singapore National Day with parade from participating groups in full regalia. The setback was, it was in Singapore and as far as Singaporeans are concerned, there's no short cut to anything.

Including the path to the Merlion. So yes, it was my 'fault' to have made the wish to snap pictures at that lion-maid statue in down-town Singapore but for the last 10 times I went there, I didn't even manage to steal a look at that statue, apart from pictures in the tv and post cards. So the Merlion was a target more so since we're travelling with only guys. No! No! I'm not saying that all girls are fussy, I'm merely saying that if I were to travel with a lady companion, I'd be fussy about her well-being..

*cover line.. :P*

Believe you me, it REALLY took us a whole 7 hours to arrive at that lion-maid (after lots and lots of stops along the way for pictures, sight-seeing and poses) that includes being lost in the car just 1km away from the statue and the search for *free* parking space (ada, really, in Singapore!!), not to mention the waiting time to 'rediscover' Pue, and seeing the fly-by by helicopters, fighter jets and the xx gun salute by the river (xx <-- not sure how many shots there were..) We walked most of the way, or rather, almost ALL the way, hahaha..

And I cannot believe that all I had were almost blistered feet. I was expecting aching soles, tired thighs and calf but alhamdulillah those did not happen.

But I do have that feeling that I might get a cramp anytime soon.. YOu'll understand if you've felt that before. So remedy: decramping exercises..

I'm talking nonsense now. It's evident from the made-up choice of words.

Will return when I've stabilised. Pr0bably tomorrow.. P-R-O-B-A-B-L-Y :)

I wore brown BATA slip-on sandals without socks (probably the best decision for that weekend). Bata works!

Pictures, here.

Friday 1 August 2008

-ANNOUNCEMENT!-

I'll be going on a road trip tonight. Hope everything works out alright..

See you on Monday!