Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Uncle Azmil..

I went his grandmother's house, my aunty's place one night for a visit. There were a few people there as well, discussing amongst others, raya plans. He was moving about from room to room, catching a glimpse of everyone around and then stopped at me.

"Uncle Azmil, can you help me fix my Lego?"

"What are you building?"

"I'm building a spaceship but I got stuck. I cannot find the piece for the next step. Can you help me, please? Please?"

I'm not one to deny children's requests, especially if it's harmful ones like this. Plus there was a lot of time left before the dinner 'party' was over and I could sure use the opportunity to bond, knowing that I've hardly known him. Although it was somewhat a cautious walk up the stairs (I've never been above ground level in this aunty's house so every step is a mystery unraveled) we went up.

"Who else is upstairs?"

"My sister."

"What is she doing?"

"I don't know."

When we got upstairs, his sister wasn't there. She had already gone down (I knew of this as I saw her before I ascended) and the room was lighted with many bits and pieces of Lego on the floor. He brought me to a partly finished lego structure, a storm trooper looking space vehicle.

I browsed through Lego's pictorial guide on how to build the spaceship then realised that he skipped two steps by accident. Back tracked and rebuilt it from there on.

While I worked on his spaceship, he asked me,

"Uncle Azmil, how does it feel like when you die?"

"I don't know. I've not died before,"
I thought it was one of those questions children ask, without intention, without real interest. Just a question.

"When you know, can you tell me?"

"I'm not sure if I can. When I die, I won't be seeing you again. What makes you think about this?"

"I miss him. How is he? Is he in heaven?"
Tears welling up in his eyes. He sniffles while his hands continue playing around with his pieces of lego.

I continue putting together his spaceship.
"I think he is."

"I think he is too. How is it like in heaven? Only good people go to heaven, right?"

"Yes, only good people go to heaven."

"I miss him.."

He is missing his great grandfather, my grand uncle, who has just passed-on a few months ago. It would be 1 year by the end of this year and his presence must have meant something for a little soul like this to be teary-eyed. I just felt broken-hearted not being able to say something better to him, not being able to comfort his fragile soul. All I could say was,

"Don't think too much about it. You've got a lot of growing up to do, a lot of happy moments to think of. It's just too soon for you to think of death."

We finished the spaceship and he could muster a smile of satisfaction looking at it. It could probably have distracted his attention and though he wanted me to stay up there longer, I couldn't. It was a deal, I told him, that I'd fix his spaceship and then I'll go down.

We went down together and watched tv. It was the Manchester Derby that night.

As my family and I were about to leave, I reminded him,

"Don't think too much about it ya? Be happy as a child."

For a moment, he seemed confused. Then,

"Oh, ya, about that ya? Ok, I won't."

Almost as if we promised, we vowed to keep it to ourselves.

I shall not name him.

He is only 8.

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Mood song

Keane - Everybody's Changing
Hopes & Fears - 10 May 2004 (Debut album)

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Since everybody's changing
And I don't know why.

So little time
Try to understand that
I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.

So little time
Try to understand that
I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

So little time
Try to understand that
I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

Everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Kaki oh kaki

Sakit pula kaki ku ini
Main bola tak ingat bala
Ubatlah nanti kaki ku ini
Boleh main bola minggu depan pula


Thursday, 3 September 2009

patblas hari

Patblas hari lepas aku update blog. Hari ni nak update lagi.

Takde cerita menarik semenjak dua ni. Bulan puasa, kepala pun puasa idea. Bukan salah bulan, salah orang. Saja tak nak pikir jauh-jauh, tak nak menung, tak nak buat apa-apa yang patut.

Minggu lepas aku kerja, heheh. Minggu ni aku.. err.. malas.

Sekarang bos dah boleh usha aku dari opis dia setengah dunia jauhnya daripada sini. Exaggeration. Suku je. Pun exaggerate. 2.5 jam dari sini kalau ikut garisan median greenwich. Dah terpasang kamera intai yang beroperasi sepanjang mana internet beroperasi dan selagi server terpasang. Aku tak nak dia tengok, aku matikan ajela modem. Tapi nanti takleh masuk internet pulak. Ah! Cabutkan aje kabel dua puntung tu. Solosai. Tapi buat masa ni, aku tak buat lagi sebab heran apa dia intai aku ke, tak ke.

Aku rasa jugak macam termakan ayat sendiri. Bukan termakan sangat tapi tersedar dengan ayat-ayat yang aku sebut sendiri. Terima kasih kat kawan-kawan yang mengingatkan.

Atas kemalasan yang teragak-agak, aku poskan sebahagian isi emel dan link kat bawah ni:

(begin quote)
I read a few articles (linked below) due to this discussion and further found it in a few other sites with regards to Malaikat Jibril's do'a. I have not gone as far as certified websites that discusses on Islam but I find it sufficient to quote the following link for us:


I don't particularly favour this site but the explanation here is clearer for my understanding:

A good read, for our reference:
(end quote)

Aku tersentap dengan ayat ini (extracted from the hadith, do not quote this on its own):
"Celakalah orang yang mendapati ibubapanya yang sudah tua atau salah seorang daripadanya, namun mereka tidak memasukkan dia ke dalam surga."

Maka terkejutlah aku.

Patblas hari lepas aku update blog ni, hari ni ada isi baru :)