And that's reinforced by the fact that this same name is on my National Identity Card and also on my Malaysian Passport. And that I use this name wherever I go, whatever I do that requires filling in forms and to state my existence. Not to forget that people calls me by this reference as well.
And thus, I know I exist, at least to the other people whom I see and know exist as well.
(writing this while waiting for Celcom's website to load.. was good in the morning, getting much slower now.)
But who is this Tuan Azmil Abdullah bin Tuan Ibrahim? Son of the land is he? Owner of rights is he? Beneficiary of rights is he? Or is he merely someone who in existence knows not what rights he has from the daily butchering of rights by those who claim to be fighting for his rights (or, from his own ignorance)?
I refer (again, to a limited exposure of the person, from a play directed by a respected director, in the presence and in honour of his son and wife) to a short play I saw of Tun Dr. Ismail, the Reluctant Politician (as was portrayed in a book).
(Now talking to a Blue Cube dealer)
Tun Abdul Razak put forward the proposal of an NEP which was objected by TDI because he sees more problems as compared to benefits coming from it. TAR on the other hand insists on it being the better solution as the racial issue that resulted in the 13 May 1969 riots stemmed from the inequality in wealth, for reasons I've not researched yet.
Fast forward 50 years, the NEP is still in existence although it was replaced in name by NDP and despite its existence, there are still many poor and ill-cared-for Malays who were supposed to have been taken cared of by the policy.
I do not wish to be ungrateful nor do I wish to be an extremist. One benefit I saw out of me being a Malay is in education. I was accepted into a boarding school which had at most 90% bumiputera and at least 50 mixed Chinese-Indian-Punjabi races. It may not seem a lot for those of you who went to schools with 700 to 2000 students but in our school of about 400 students, that accounts to 12.5% of the population. That wouldn't have happened in an ordinary school run by the Ministry of Education. Then I went to a university that not only accepts a multitude of races but also a very good mix of nationalities as well. I had friends from Macedonia, Bosnia, Saudi Arabia, Oman, UAE (although this particular guy is a Somali by birth :P), Phillipines, Indonesia and not to forget also Malaysia.
I strongly believe that had I not been a Malay, I wouldn't have chanced upon this much exposure.
I didn't receive scholarships nor did I apply for loans. I was not a part of any political formation nor did I land any jobs due to my political views. I was however offered a well paying job for being Malay. Keyword here is: offered.
How would I react, had I been on the other side of the fence, not getting into universities because of my race or marginalised because of it? I don't know. But I don't think I'd like it that much because it's simply not fair. If I were to say this out loud, I would be ostracised for being vocal and for 'forgetting my roots'. But were my roots firmly rooted in this country? No it wasn't. My great great grandparents were from a land now part of Southern Thailand, for most of it. On my maternal grandfather's side, we were from Indonesia. If there were any gratefulness that should come about, it should be for the acknowledgement those countries accord me should I go there.
From the SO MANY Malays who claim to fight for their rights, the rights as a Bumiputera, I wonder how many would be able to trace their roots beyond who their grandfather or great grandfather was? I wonder who amongst them would have at least 3 generations living on this land? Do they really know what the fight is for or is it just a mere 'protecting your boundaries' thing?
Ntahlah. I do feel that to an extent, I have been weakened by the limited exposure I have. I wonder if races play a role in our natural development and growth. I wonder if there is such a research done to show that the Chinese has it in their genes to be more successful as compared to the Malays or that the Indians are better speakers as compared to the other two or if the Malays are stronger in championing justice? If there was such a study and an accepted conclusion was found, damn us all for our fates have been sealed.
Otherwise, why fret? What's the big deal in having a more open-door policy towards other races? If we fail to accept that we are equal to any other races in this country or the world, we're only saying that we're weak and boneless. If we claim that we're supreme, as many (politicians, wannabes and the general public alike) claim, the only way to gauge our claims is to take the challenge of facing the tide.
After all, what matters in the afterlife is how good we are as Muslims.