The weBLOG

Dah teramat lama rasanya tak blog kat Friendster. Sempat juga tanya kawan-kawan yang kaki blog, diorang kata frenster punya blog ni tak best & berybu lemon site lain yang lagi best. Among the friends I spoke to, ada yang guna xanga, ada yang guna blogspot. I use blogspot mainly because I cannot find any other blog sites.. How sad is that, huh?

Blog nowadays has turned into something more than just a place to write your feelings/thoughts/ideas down, it has turned into some sort of a fan page. Friends who knows your blogsite would check your stories there frequently to keep themselves updated with your whereabouts and happenings. Some friends (people like me) visit other friends' blogs like once in a week/month and spend some time reading through their happenings and at the same time write in their thoughts and piece of mind.

Some friends I know use the blog to express emotions such as happiness and anger. I just read through a friend's blog yesterday where she lashed out at her friend who pissed her off and pointing out "I know you read this blog.." It's very neat, really, to be able to release that pent-up anger without actually doing the shouting and yelling but at the same time get the message across.

Blogs too have become like a shrine, a personal space, an online more-than-just-my-profile site. It's no longer sufficient to have a space where you can write all you want, blog sites now need to have the facility of 'decorating' that site as well as provide some sort of animation tools for the bloggers.

As for me, if there weren't any blogs on Friendster, I doubt that I'd even start blogging. I don't keep a journal at home nor do I have a diary. I used to have one, started while I was in Form 2 but after a few days, I find myself writing just the same. Worse then, I was afraid of writing freely, afraid that the diary would be 'stolen' and that someone else would read my thoughts.

Funny, I now enjoy people reading. I guess not having much to hide helps keep me writing freely PLUS I am more capable of separating the bloggable and unbloggable contents of my life. I also think that with time comes maturity and self confidence that allows me to be more comfortable with who I am.

I wonder what's after the weBLOG..

I

I count the days
As July came
In so many ways
I am still the same

I aged a bit
I laughed a lot
Is it time to quit
Or do I start to trot?

I move, I walk, I dance, I run
I must realise life is so much fun

I count the days
Of this July test
In many ways
I am now my best.

Oops, terforgot..

Masa borak-borak dengan Abeb semalam, sempat gak belajar resipi daripada dia.. He called it Nasi Daging Tomato Tak Cukup Bahan.. Hehe, you guessed, nama tu dah kena tokok tambah sikit ;)

First thing: I don't imagine guys talking about recipes. Secondly: I don't imagine doing it myself! Tips that he gave during our chat: Nak suruh nasi masak cepat, letak air panas instead of air biasa.

I normally use the satu-ruas technique when cooking. You put in the rice you want to cook then add water. Dip your pointer into the mixture, water level should just be about as high as the first mark.

Abeb guna 2:1. 2cups water, 1cup rice.

It's another 5 days before I go home. Tomorrow's the 30th. Then 31st, 1st (my parents' 33rd anniversary), 2nd, 3rd, 4TH!! Macam best tapi ada jugak gerun.. I worry that I have things left undone. Sick..

Tomorrow until the day I leave, I intend to have breakfast and dinner consisting of bran cereals. Kalau bosan, makan weetabix. Nope, not about dieting but about stabilising my fiber intake. I'm not that fibre-y conscious at the moment, which is not so good. Kesian 'Barakah Grill' nanti.. no more Azmil to eat their kebab, syawarma and tikka..

Dah, nakal balik

Tengah bosan ni. Patut ada meeting hari ni tapi postpone pergi esok sebab the guy ada a different meeting earlier. I don't think he knows that I'll be going back soon or else he'd fit the meeting into his schedule.

So I do what I normally do when I'm bored: Download. Abeb kata semalam (we chatted quite a while) housemate dia bandwith hog, download freak, or at least that's what I translate into my mind and guess what, I'm quite the same too..

Tengah carik lagu-lagu. My intention was to leave this computer clean from any installations but I had to install limewire (Mali yang promo, many years ago) to download mp3s. The other programs are just useless and not as effective.

Not feeling good about this but it shall do.

I feel the love..

I had a very long night last night.

As I got home, I started preparing the chicken for my curry Ala-Brahim's dish. I had dinner consisting of that curried chicken and arabic bread again. This time, I felt that the chicken wasn't fully cooked but I was not about to go cook it again so I finished the whole thing while watching erm.. I think it was Scrubs episodes 20 and 21, Season 6.

I depend a lot on these comedies to keep my mind occupied with nothing. I cannot imagine how life would be had I not have the portable hard drive and downloaded those movies. Apart from being dull, I might even get bored. Having a car doesn't help either because I'm pretty cautious about using it to move around primarily because I still do not have a UAE driving licence plus I've not received my salary for June. Nope, it's not the company this time, it's because the money is with my colleague and he's in Al-Ain doing some survey. He'll be back tomorrow and I REALLY hope he would as I'm down to my last Dh35. The good thing about getting my money late is that I have less time to spend it and have more to bring home.

Anyways, after Scrubs, I decided to watch 'How I Met Your Mother'. I've finished Season 1 during my first month in Shahama and I managed to download the second season while helping Ayah pack his stuff up. After 3 episodes, I felt like sleeping because the time was already 10 something and I had the intention to stop at Al-Raha this morning before going to AD.

I tossed and turned and tossed and turned and all I can focus on hearing was the ticking of my new mini alarm clock. It kept on going tick.. tock.. tick.. tock.. The best thing about this clock is its size and I think my body clock has synchronised itself with the time on that clock because I just manage to switch the alarm off every morning before it beeped.

But those are not the main story.

As I watched the sitcoms, I feel love emanating from the story. I suddenly fell in love. I wasn't sure what that love was about but I felt it.

It took me 30 odd years to realise that I'm actually missing my family. I'm not homesick, that's not it. I just felt that I've taken this long to finally have the realisation that I love my mother, I love my father, I love my sister too. With my brother, it's more of mess-with-him-and-you'll-feel-my-wrath love because I've never lived life without him.

If you were to ask me in my 20s, I'd say I do love my family but it wouldn't be said with conviction. I just didn't know then, what this fuss about loving your parents and sibling is all about. I do now.

I just wondered: If I were married in my 20s, I wouldn't have realised this familial love at all. I would've had my own family to share the love with and never would've realised the love I have for my parents. It would've really been a waste.

Alhamdulillah..

I've not been a good son and still am sometimes a very trying person to manage but I do try now, I do try to be better and appreciate their concerns.

Ever read a letter in English, written in Rumi? I wrote one yesterday. It was just a note but I find it interesting how words are so adaptable.

I finally did sleep after listening to M. Nasir's Bonda 2x.

Soooooo cawnee..

I had lots of corny words cross my mind the past week or so. I told myself that I'd pen it but didn't thus the absence of it from my blog. Argh.. frustrating jugak..

I'll be back. And to take from Aisha's blog endings..

-to be continued-

heheh..
p/s: Nope, I won't pay any royalties for using it! That term's public!

Back..

It's no fun to have a weekend and have nothing to do with it.

I had one yesterday and after thinking long and hard, decided to make a meal for myself on this boring slow weekend. So I did. I intended to go to Raha Mall's Lulu Express to buy chicken and onions (gee, my temp apartment doesn't even have onions! Good thing ada garam.. :P) and what nots but then changed my mind and thought of going to either the other side of New Shahama or to Old Shahama for groceries. Then I checked the packaging of this mixture and realised that all I needed was just 300g of chicken for 1 packet serving (good for 4 persons) and went to a grocery store nearby instead.

I knew that many companies sell chicken but I become overwhelmed by the choices and range of prices so I bought the biggest (heaviest) and most cost-effective (to my opinion) chicken available. It weighed 1.5kg and was priced at Dh11. Kalau yang dah siap potong + bungkus, 900g at Dh10. Kalau yang Saudi, 900g at Dh9. Ada jugak yang 1.2kg at Dh10. Good choice, no?

Balik rumah, tinggal ayam kat situ dulu sebab dia beku. I remember my mother telling me not to submerge the chicken in water to thaw it but I don't remember why. I did though, for a short time. Bukan sebab dia dah ready tapi sebab tak sabar nak potong.. I cut the chicken in 6, took out a pot and washed it, cut up some tomatoes and started the cooking process.

Since there were 6pcs of chicken weighing a total of 1.5kg, I thought of making two seperate dishes of curry and kurma. Lepas tengok betapa besarnya ayam tu, decided to store the remaining 4pcs and cook just 2. Opened up 2 packets of Brahim's Meat Kurma mixture and mixed it with water. Put the chicken and tomatoes it, left it at medium heat and went to my room to watch a movie.

Lucky me there's Brahim's :)

The dish tasted alright but it was rather thin so I let the stove run for a while more to thicken the sauce for dinner. Ate lunch at about 5pm with Arabic bread. Had dinner at about 9pm. I MUST remember to follow instructions then next time I cook. Instruction says 300ml of water and I put in 400. Tu yang jadi cair tu.

Oh, I did prepare a more complex fish curry dish a few days ago. We had this fish in the freezer and I thought of doing something with it so ransacked the larder and found fish curry powder. Put this in, put this out, stirred it around and yes! Fish Curry Ala-Azmil is done!

Masin dan masam sikit. Dia suruh letak garam + lemon and I substituted them with lemon salt instead. Guys, sesapa yang tak pernah masak guna lemon salt, lemon salt IS salty + lemony. Don't be over zealous when using it.

Azmil off..

Why?

Why are years 1900 to 1999 called the 20th century but in age, you're not referred to as a 32nd year old person?

A Whirlwind of Emotions..

I've gone through another whirlwind of emotions recently. I'm really like that when I get upset. I try so hard to think of the positive things in life and yank myself out of that depression/anger/sadness and would succeed in doing it. Then to realise that the short-term happiness is just an artificial feeling created by me.

That's kinda why I sulk. My logic tells me that I have this sulk-o-meter that gets rid of the suck-o-feeling 'juice'. It's like pumping gas into the car and let the engine run until the gas runs out before actually stopping. Yes, boleh stop at any time but stopping when the tank is empty becomes a more permanent solution/stop.

So, anywhoo <-- taken from Scrubs, the sitcom I've been watching for the past month on the lappie.. abis Season 6 dah!

I'm back in Abu Dhabi to clear some stuff, work some new stuff and then get my white ass back home on the 4th. I have daddy's car with me and so I drive. Don't you go telling on me!

I guess those who have the opportunity to observe me for a longer period would understand better and be able to notice the changes a lot easier. I know, I am a HUGE pain when I get all emo and stuff but everyone's like that albeit some in a different way. Emo or not, I try not to hold grudges and bite at others, as much as I can.

Aisha requested that I republish the blogs that I 'drafted'. I just might.

Take care.
Azmil off..

A Thank You To All..

Assalamualaikum and a very good day dear readers,

I'd like to visually describe how thankful I am of all your wishes on the day I completed 31 years of living but with this distance, I'm afraid all I can do is to write it.

Thank you all. Although some people dread turning a new year, I don't mind it at all. Age is just a number that brings along the normal wear and tear on the body. When my age was a smaller number, I could do so many things, walk so very far, jump so very high but as the number gets bigger, I can do so many other things like think so much clearly, control so much anger, convince so much better. I can still walk so very far and jump a little but I'd probably tire so much faster if I do it so very often.

It's really funny how people want big numbers on their pay cheques but with to keep their age in small numbers.

Thank you people, you've raised me up a little bit more. I think it's easier now to raise me up since I lost some weight, hehe..

Take care all of you..

With much appreciation and love
Azmil

Apa lagi ya..

Barang-barang kebanyakannya dah abis bungkus. Yang tinggal (kategori barang-barang luar) ada supplements sikit dengan barang-barang elektrik macam blender, mixer and food warmer. Kotak banyak lagi. Label untuk kotak pun dah print, tunggu nak kira berapa banyak kotak pastu tulis atas kertas pastu tampal kat kotak.

Tadi keluar gi tailors dengan my father and brother. My parents suka beli kain bila jumpa kain yang best/berkenan. Lepas beli tu kadang-kadang gi terus jumpa tukang jahit untuk buat baju tapi kebanyakan kalinya tak pergi terus. Bukan apa, kain tu memang lawa tapi bila nak pikir design/baju apa yang nak suruh dia buat, tak sure pulak. Jadi, dalam kemas mengemas tadi, Ayah jumpa berbelas-belas helai kain dan dia pun bahagi-bahagikan dengan anak-anak dia. Dapat jugak seluar lagi 3 helai!

Upah jahit, my brother yang bayar.. :) Bagus jugak ada Abang, kan? Sapa la lagi nak pow kalau bukan abang sendiri..

Had a long conversation with Tina on YM yesterday. I was in the main office and she happened to be online. The thing with her is, if there's nothing to talk about pun, we'd still talk. Biasanya updating on simple matters in life. Yesterday's talk was about something heavier that I shall not blog. She's having her wedding reception on the 18th and I intend to attend.

Oh, BTW, I'm planning to return to KL on the 4th and arrive on the 5th. Ticket's confirmed but I've still got to confirm with my boss if he would insist that I go to Doha first. Lots of things to do in KL including getting my International Driving Permit and catching up with everyone at home. I think this'll be the first time that everyone and I do mean EVERYONE will be home at the same time.

Mama & Ayah's 33rd Wedding Anniversary's on August the 1st. I won't be there but everyone else would. My SIL is due to deliver at the end of August so yes, I'll still be a bachelor when the fourth one comes. There is a reason to every happening.

Just finished a 3-scoop Baskin Robbins ice cream, a combination of Old Fashion Butter Pecan (my favourite), Strawberry Cheesecake and World Class Chocolate, topped with peanuts and hot fudge. I'll be drinking some water afterwards to wash away the taste then drink some more to rehydrate then watch a few episodes of Scrubs (Season 6!) before calling it a night. It's already 11pm here.

Good night folks. I'll see you later.

Merepek lagi..

Kejap kat Dubai, kejap kat Abu Dhabi.. Kalau orang asyik-asyik terbang ke sana ke sini, boleh kata jetsetter.. Aku pulak, bussetter? Haha..

Sebenarnya best jugak naik turun Abu Dhabi ni. At least it takes the boredom away from my vocab for a little bit.

Kejap lagi aku nak balik Dubai balik. Hari ni my brother that I've not met for MAAAAAAAANY months will be arriving from Doha/Kuwait. Dia ni jetsetter. Masa keje dengan O&G dulu, travel area SEA. Dah masuk Radicare, after 1 year, cover area ME pulak. Ada-ada aja idea & plan for expansion dia. I might be smart but HE's smarter. He's a big planner, someone who should run companies. He's like Ayah, someone with a vision. I.. am probably like Mama. I'd settle for something simpler. Not doing it for the money but if the money comes along, I'm happy all the same.

We take different traits from the both of them.

And yes, this blog is about merepekking..

Inche Osh Shudah Bershuara!

Salam Inche Osh!

Shudah lama tak jumpa, shuara pun tak dengar, shepi sheribu bahasha, shekarang munchul bershama ishteri terchenta.. Tahniah Inche Osh kerana shudah berumah tangga. Tapi, ushah ditanya shoalan itu kepada shaya.. tiba mashanya, akan dimaklumkan jua..

Erm Abdul Jabbar, dah terjawab kot soalan 'bila' tu? :)

Again, congratulations, Osh. Semoga berbahagia ke anak, cucu, cicit dan selamanya.

A while or two?

It's been almost a week since I last blogged. Hey, it HAS been 7 days. I've been to the main office once since that last visit but I just didn't have the heart to blog so surfed and read mails, printed stuff and then left the office. I come here purely to print some stuff (printing's free plus it's in laserjet colour!) and take advantage of the internet to check my mails, friendster as well as blog, when the fingers itch.

I was initially due to depart for Qatar within this week since Asri's back and my time spent here has been stretching quite a distance. However, Kinara wants me here longer.. she can't stand the thought of losing me kot? Hahaha.. Well, the hotel felt the impact of my absence for a week and what made it worse was my replacement who shuffled things upside down, to the dismay of Kutty, the supervisor. I went back to Dubai to spend some time with my mother and sister before sending them off to KUL on Tuesday. And managed to get sore throat, slight fever, mild headache and such. My father got it worse since he spent more time on the outside than I did and when my mother left, I just didn't have the heart to leave him on his own, seeing how unwell he was.

I didn't realise that I was sick in the beginning. I took it as just one of those days when the throat acts up ugly. When I got back to Shahama on the 10th, it became clear that this is a lingering bad health. Usual remedies: Honey, water and water. If mummy was here, she'd prepare dishes that does not contain oil so the throat will heal faster. I could say that it's also part "separation sickness" if you may call it. Mama's having a VERY sore throat and Khalisah is kinda sick as well. Macam drama pulak.. :P

So, Khalisah takes care of Mama and I of Ayah.

Anyway, Kutty got angry again today for what other crap, I don't know and he gave me a call for again, don't know what reason. I would've known the reason but since I didn't answer the phone, I don't. Kadang-kadang rasa nak sembur je mamat tu tapi hati lembut sangat. Tak reti nak marah. Cumanya, kalau dan bila marah, orang lain baik jangan cari pasal.

Semalam Kutty tu dok sebut lagi, "I'm now having fever because I supervised your staff. If you are not here, I must do all supervising work for you. I don't have time to do your work," and Kinara echoed quite frequently, "Kutty doesn't have time to do his work if he supervises your work,"

Awat nak supervise kerja aku pulak? Gi jaga kerja sendiri la. Afterall, he is in charge of compound and villa cleanliness, bukan ke kerja dia nak tengok tempat mana kotor dan kena cuci? Dalam kontrak aku mana ada sebut nak ada supervisor?

Kita tengok nanti, bila dia balik kampung hujung bulan ni, cemana jadinya hotel tu. Kutty's wife is delivering pretty soon and he will be on leave for 1.5 months.

Angin jugak satu badan aku ni melayan diorang.

It is..

SCARY! I've realised for quite a while now that when in the company of my father in a meeting, I actually think of words a few micro seconds before he says them. You've heard about the kind of people who would think alike and even complete each other's sentences.. Well, I do that, not with friends but with my father!

MUCHO SCARY, I must say.

But good thing, it's only in words, not in complete sentences.. When (and actually, IF) that happens.. .... ........

I look up to my father in many ways and traits but when people tell me that not only do I look like him, I sound like him, I laugh like him, I even make jokes like he does, it becomes kinda confusing. "You look just like your father," someone told me yesterday and as usual, the best thing I can think of doing is to smile and let the comment pass. Oh, there were also people who said, "Are you connected to him?" Him referring to my father in his absence and when I asked why, the reply would always be, "You look the same."

I'm confident now that I'm not adopted :)

I am..

81kg. Weighed in on July 3rd at about noon.

OK la tu.. kan? heheh.. ;)

Ada respon nampak..

Ada ya yang comment on the last blog. Seronok pakcik bila ada orang bagi feedback :) Makes me feel not really alone even though the nearest Malaysian is like miiiiiiiiiles away.

OK, I admit, that's not true. The nearest Malaysian is like 3 steps away. And there's like 4 of us Malaysians here.. I'm back in Dubai. Just arrived at about 8pm today. It was really a wonderful trip back and looking at how smooth things were, it's almost as if God is asking me to be here, to come home.

Lets see..

I decided to come back just today, at about 3, after concluding my half chicken lunch. Today's chicken was herbs and spices. There's also tandoori and grilled, broasted and fried. Don't ask, I can't differentiate between broasted and fried either.

I texted Asri, the OM and asked if it's alright if I take two or three days off. Before he came back from his holiday, I make decisions on my own because there's no one to consult/discuss with. When he's back, I need to let him know. Not only do we share the same accommodation, we work for the same company and we're pretty much responsible for the same project. Singular, still. If I can't make it to the hotel, he'll have to kinda stand in for me, just IN CASE there was any problem. He gave his okay and I started packing.

Called Farhad (it's spelt with a 'D', not a 'T') and told him I'm going back to Dubai. I briefed him of the scheduled works for the next 3 days (it's pretty much standard and charted) and told him to write the daily report in my absence. I also informed the Housekeeping Department and asked them to call Farhad for any problems. I told Asri that I'd see him at the main office before leaving and set off for Shahama to put together a travelling bag.

I waited for a taxi but lho and behold! The bus arrived. I've never taken a municipality bus in Abu Dhabi although I've taken the Dubai bus many times. The bus was comfortable and there were many locals in there as well. Got to Shahama and packed my jogging shoes, track pants and some essentials and made out to the roadside again. This time the wait was longer and a rude lady added to the agony. She kinda braked hard a few meters behind me (I was facing the traffic and she overshot me) and honked loud. Out of reflex, I walked to her when she lowered her window and asked if I knew where Rahba was. I told her I have no idea (I kinda know where it is generally but not specifically) and she left me without saying thank you or anything like that. I mean, ***ch! She could've backed her car to me instead of honking me over like cattle.. (I feel like saying MOO! now, haha!!) and she could've been more polite. I didn't want to ride with her anyway, takot kena frame woo!!

Heh.. possible? :O

I was in luck a few minutes later when a van was kind enough to stop by (also overshot me but he backed his van quickly to make me walk a shorter distance to him) and took me to the Dubai Taxi Stand. You remember that place I described in an earlier blog, about it being in Abu Dhabi?

So I had to call Asri and inform him that I was taken to the taxi stand and won't be going to the office. Luckily I followed my instincts of not passing the key to Asri by hand :) As I walked towards the buses, I realised that one was already about to leave so I hasten my steps and stopped him in the nick of time. Boarded the bus then found TWO seats empty! Just WONDERFUL, fit for my two bags and I.

Tried to sleep and pretended to sleep when the bus picked another 3 passengers (tak nak share kerusi, haha.. Don't worry, lots of others at the back). Arrived in Dubai at about maghrib then thought of taking a cab to Galleria. All cab drivers were busy dropping off passengers and heading to the masjid for maghrib so I thought of walking to my destination. It's really not that far once you're used to doing 5km walks daily.

After a few steps, I realised that there was a bus stop ahead and then, a bus stopped. I checked out the number then referred to the chart and decided that the Gold Souk bus stand was the nearest stop. Got off there and started walking. If I didn't take the bus, I would've saved Dh1.50 but have to take the winding steps that goes underneath the creek and appear next to the fish market but taking the bus got me next to the fish market.

Walked, called home to ask if anyone needs anything and stopped at Fun Time Pizza at the Galleria Mall and bought a large hawaiian pizza with onion rings AND a LARGE coke. Macam mengidam la..

Sampai je, bukak a few stories then showered. Then went to Prince Tailor to measure for my trousers. My mum bought some trousers material and left it at the tailor for my measurements.

So, that's about all there is for today.

Update re: work. Gave Farhad the authority to manage his guys completely and have been sitting down idle at the office for 2 days. He's managing quite well and it won't be long before we could safely leave him to lead the place. It was tiring but I have a feeling it'll soon be worth it.

Good night now! :)